That is jacked up, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
It is rumored that the writers strike is almost over; when asked to comment, an executive for NBC Primetime said; “Television shows hire writers? When did this start?”
Oprah is supporting Barrack Obama. When asked what he thought about Oprah and Obama, President Bush replied; “That’s fun to say when you get in a conga line: “Oprah and Obama, hah, Oprah and Obama, ho, Oprah and Obama, hey.”
Dick Cheney had to have an electric shock applied to correct his irregular heartbeat; it was a very difficult procedure, the hardest part? Locating the troubled area.
The Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Miami Dolphins 3-0 with field goal in the last 17 seconds on a lumpy and sloppy field; the field was so lumpy and sloppy it was like playing football on top of Britney Spears.
The Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Miami Dolphins 3-0. Ricky Williams had 15 yards on six carries. On his last carry, Ricky slipped in the mud, injured his shoulder, fumbled, and was stepped on his back by a 300 pound lineman. Talk about a guy who needs to get stoned.
On Monday Night Football, the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Miami Dolphins 3-0. Or as they call a 3-0 score in soccer, a blowout.
The Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Miami Dolphins 3-0 with field goal in the last 17 seconds on a lumpy and sloppy field; the field was so wet, muddy, lumpy and slimy it was like watching Rosie O’Donnell mud wrestle Michael Moore.
Detroit has been named the US’s most dangerous city; to which the city of Trenton, New Jersey cried as one: “Wait ‘til next year.”
400 harmonicas are being donated to the troops in Iraq; experts predict that, with 400 beginners trying to wheeze out “On Top of Old Smoky,” the insurgents will surrender in droves.
The good news is that 400 harmonicas have been sent to the troops in Iraq; it is actually a devious special ops recruiting ploy, as the 400 bunk mates of the fledgling harmonica players will then volunteer for suicide missions.
400 harmonicas are being donated to the troops in Iraq; experts predict that, with 400 beginners trying to wheeze out “On Top of Old Smoky” at least we will have found the weapons of mass distraction.Since you asked:
Since you asked:
Shout out to my buddy Mark Snake for a great Sunday. Got up early and hit the bike hard at the gym to get the workout out of the way and headed up to Rancho Bernardo for golf at Oaks North, a very nifty executive course, par 62. Man, was I smacking the pill. For me anyway. Best I’ve ever played. Actually strung together two par threes back to back. Had a par on a par four, but the real story is there were no blow ups and snowmen (Eights). Mostly bogey golf, fours and fives, which I will take every time. It was a blast. It makes the game so much more fun when you get to take a little walk to your ball and you know where it is.
It was remarkable how normal things looked driving up I-15 North to Pomerado to Oaks North. But then Mark gave me a quick tour of the area hard hit by the fire directly above his street. Until you get to where the fire came over that famous ridge and destroyed all the homes in its path, all the damage seemed ruthlessly random. One, two, three, four houses fine and then one totaled. Mark’s front door matt was burned, that’s how close it came to him. It looked like the area had been bombed with one-house-at-a-time destroying bombs that fell haphazardly.
We then retired to the beautiful and classically Californian Rancho Bernardo Inn for a beverage or two and an awesome Angus beef steak sandwich at the bar and watched the beginning of the Chargers game. Mark's beautiful wife, Tracy, joined us all too briefly.
Truth-be-told Mark O’Snake, I stopped at Hernandez Hideaway on Lake Hodges on the way back to make sure the fire had not hurt their margarita machine. That area was scorched, you could see how a wall of fire raced through there. Many old rickety ranch homes leveled. One sight made me really sad. The quaint strawberry and vegetable stand on Del Dios, just south of Lake Hodges, was lost in the fire. Every time I drove by there I told myself that, next time, I would stop and load up on fresh goodies but I never did. Let that be a lesson: stop and smell the strawberries.
Then it was home to watch football/nap and observe my Fantasy team string together their Sixth win in a row, probably clinching a playoff spot after a 0-4 start, thanks to big games by Justin Fargus and Antonio Gates.
Knock on wood three times, Slats and Nuggies. (No, really, knock on wood three times)