7-5

Keeping up with the Awesome Joneses

OK, Vince, what’s our move, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

A watch-dog health group has named Long John Silver’s Big Catch as the worst restaurant meal for you in the country. Taco Bell is demanding a recount.

33 grams of trans fat. Turns out the catch you catch in Big Catch is diabetes and heart disease.

A guy in Texas, Cirilo Castillo, was arrested for the second time in three months for having sex with the same horse, Nadia; here is my question: if he and the horse become engaged, who gets the bridle shower?

Castillo is an old Spanish word that means Whoa, Nadia.

Update

A Redlands CA. teacher, 28-year-old Laura Whitehurst, was arrested for having sex and a baby with her 16-year-old student; sex and a baby, guess he did a little extra-curriculurar work. She was charged with one count of unlawful sex with a minor and one count of dressing like it is 1984. 

7-2

A watch-dog health group has named Long John Silver’s Big Catch as the worst restaurant meal for you in the country. Taco Bell is demanding a recount. 

July 1

Just a little bit with Jeri and Pippa?

It is hot, I am sweating like Paula Deen at a Jay Z concert.

A court in China has ruled that a massage ending in masturbation – known as a happy ending – is not considered prostitution and is therefore legal; and we wonder why China is kicking our ass.

I believe this landmark case is known as Rosie Palms Vs. Jack Meoff.

I believe this landmark case is known as General Tso's Chicken-choke.

Former New England Patriot tight end, Aaron Hernandez, has been charged with murder and is being investigated for two more murders; even OJ thinks this guy is screwed.

The Tour De France began today. Yeah, I don’t care either . . .

They say this year could be a close race between that guy who is going to get caught using steroids, and that guy who is going to get caught using human growth hormone.

Martha Stewart admitted to being in a threesome; well, a Martha Stewart threesome anyway. One of the guys was her personal assistant whom she fired halfway through.

Have you seen the video of Arizona Cardinal receiver, Robert Gill, running 25 MPH on a treadmill? This guy can run so fast, his parole officer can barely catch up to him.

Paula Deen’s upcoming cook book is the #1 seller on Amazon.com; as a result, Rachel Ray issued a statement that she isn’t crazy about Jews.