President Barack Obama prepared for his appearance on “The View” He had lunch with Joe Biden just to practice trying to get a word in edgewise.
France has officially declared war on al Qaeda. Al Qaeda is officially laughing its ass off.
In Florida, a person called 911 furious because a McDonalds had run out of chicken nuggets. The person called 911 three times. That is silly. Now if they were out of French fries, well, sure, call 911 three times.
Wikileaks posted 200,000 pages of Military secrets. One of the most shocking secrets? Osama bin Laden is crushed he wasn’t invited to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding.
Yet another Mel Gibson phone rant is on the Internet. But I think Mel’s rants are running out of steam. In the last one he called his ex-girlfriend a stinker-pants and doodie-head.
Wikileaks posted 200,000 pages of Military secrets. One of the most shocking secrets? Osama bin Laden is on twitter under the username Bieber-Dude.
In Florida, a person called 911 furious because a McDonalds had run out of chicken McNuggets. The person called 911 three times. Mel Gibson really has to get his anger issues under control.
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said he believed the show “Jersey Shore” gives a negative perception of New Jersey. To which the cast of “Jersey Shore” grabbed its groin and yelled: “Yo, Gov, I got youse negative-isity right here, oooewww.”
For his daughter Chelsea’s wedding this weekend, Bill Clinton had to drop 30 pounds, and he did it. He cut out one meal a day and increased his exercise to five interns a week.
If you’ve never seen “Jersey Shore” here’s pretty much what happens: in the day they go to tanning salons, at night they go out to nightclubs, they get drunk, they get in fights and then hook up with a one night stand. It’s like watching congress on C-Span. Same thing.
Our pets are getting too fat. Obesity in US pets is way up. You remember the first dog, Bo? Now Bo is so fat, he is the first and second dog.
In China, a 16-year-old boy walked into the hospital with a 10-inch knife stuck in his skull. He’s going to be fine, but Nike is pissed he had to leave the factory to get treated.