A woman in California had eight babies. A delivery room nurse said the mother’s who-ha looked like the front gate at the opening of a Jonas Brothers concert.
How cold is it?
It is so cold in New York, the cab drivers had to apply Chap stick to their middle fingers.
It is so cold in New York, one cab driver used his Snuggie as a turban.
Sad sign of the times
Sales of Viagra are down 80%. Sadly, sales of popsicle sticks and duct tape are up 80%.
Barack Obama is appealing to Muslims by appearing on Arab TV shows. Next week he is going to make a cameo on the Muslim comedy “Two and a Half Mullahs.”
Obama may even make a cameo on the upcoming Muslim movie “Dude, Where’s My Camel?”
Seven Japanese diners were seriously ill after eating poisonous blowfish testicles. That’s right, they ate the blowfish’s Hooties.
Seven Japanese diners were seriously ill after eating poisonous blowfish testicles. The good news is this story has inspired a new band: “Pukie and the Blowfish.”
They need it like that
How about those storms back east? New York needs another storm like Jeremy Piven needs another tuna roll.
Seven diners in Japan were seriously ill after eating poisonous blowfish testicles. That settles it, I am never going to eat the gonads from a deadly fish again.
Oui kid the French
The entire nation of France is having a work strike. People aren’t working, they’re angry, they’re shouting at each other. In other words it’s pretty much like normal.
The openly gay mayor of Portland, Sam Adams, is being accused of having an affair with an 18-year-old intern; Apparently the mayor asked the young man if he’d like to slam down a Sam Adams. And then he said they could go get a beer.
Resigned-due-to-a-gay-sex-scandal former evangelical minister Ted Haggard appeared on “Oprah” and said he is not gay, he is heterosexual with issues. Is that like a gift with purchase?
Sales of Viagra are down 80%. When asked to comment about the drop, a spokeswoman for Viagra said; “It’s OK, it happens, um, I have to go to bed anyway. We, uh, can try later.”
Can you believe the size of this guy’s?
At his impeachment hearing, Ill. Gov. Rod Blagojevich denied any wrongdoing despite federal tapes that caught him seeking bribes. Can you believe this guy? First he compares himself to Gandhi now this. Apparently his hair is only the third biggest thing on this guy.
Meanwhile Illinois politicians have begun a search for their next governor, or as we would call it, the next suspect.