It is hard out here
A bomb killed Iraq’s head terrorist, Zarqawi; more bad news for Zarqawi, you know those 70 virgins he’s supposed to get in heaven? There was a paper work screw up and Zarqawi got one 70-year-old virgin.
Uh, not quite
Investigators discovered that over a billion dollars of hurricane relief money was spent fraudulently including a $200 bottle of champagne at a strip club. When asked why he spent the relief money at a strip club, the man said;
“When they said this money was for Katrina, I assumed she was a stripper.”
Not easy to score
At the World Cup, France and Switzerland played to a 0-0 tie. Nothing to nothing. Of course it is tough to score when one side is neutral and the other side keeps surrendering.
Not long afterwards
On this date in 1951, The Rand Corporation delivered the first corporate computer, a UNIVAC, to the U.S. Census Bureau. And one week later, a U.S. Census Bureau employee became the first person to be fired for downloading pornography.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
In a much anticipated World Cup match, Brazil beat Croatia 1-0, it was a little awkward when they asked President Bush who he preferred, Brazil or Croatia, Bush replied;
“I don’t follow all the popular pop singers.”
Not the same
40,000 prostitutes have flocked to Germany for the World Cup; sex with a prostitute during the Soccer World Cup is a little different. For example, you can’t use your hands.
Uh no Sir
President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq. But I think Bush got confused, he stepped out of Air Force one, saw the desert and then gave a speech promising to stop immigrants from crossing the Mexican border.
Texas has cameras along the Mexican border so that anyone with Internet access can report on illegals trying to enter the country. I’m not sure the Internet spying is working. Today it was reported that the border was breached by 5,000 Catholic school girls, 4,000 Cheerleaders and 3,000 French maids.
Little known fact
On this date in 1940, the Nazis marched into Paris. What a lot of people don’t know is that, a week later, half the Nazis marched back out of Paris because of the lousy and rude service afforded tourists at Parisian restaurants.