It is hard out here
Saturday Morning Caffeine Fueled Rant:
My cold kept me from St. Patty’ing the way a really white boy with Scotch/Irish blood should. Oh well, I feel good today and will try to work out.
New Pet Peeve. This goes along with those chunks of human cholesterol who are always standing in the way. Those idiots who look like they’re standing in line, you get in back of them and it turns out they aren’t in line but they didn’t bother to tell you. Come to think of it, this isn’t new, but it has been happening a lot.
When you discover they aren’t in line - because someone else walks up in front of you - you then miss your place in line, then you have to ask; “Excuse me, are you in line?” Then they say no, as if to say, why do you ask? It takes everything I’ve got not to ask;
“So why did you think I was standing right in back of you, you mindless gerbil?”
Blue spray paint. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. We need to have roving independent teams of Civil Decency Police who, when they catch these inconsiderate and rude offenders, issue a ticket and a huge fine – that pays the CDP’s salary - and the officers spray indelible blue ink on their forehead so the rest of us will know ahead of time that they are a-holes.
“Excuse me, do you know who I am?”
“Yes, you’re the putz with the blue-tinted forehead, now get back in line, you schmuck.”
Park in a fire zone? Blue paint. Balance your entire check book before you write a check in the Ten Items or Less line? Blue paint. Make a pedestrian walking in the rain stand and wait while you drive by high and dry? Blue paint plus an added bonus of a kick in the ass. Subject captive strangers to loud cell phone conversations? Blue. Stand at the front of a long line and ask the clerk a billion stupid questions you should have answered yourself before making everyone in back of you wait? Taken outside and then shot. Then spray their face. Hang a long slow diagonal parking lot walk on a waiting driver? So blue. Sit there with –way-too-good-for-you-tickets-behind-home-plate and wave like an utter moron at the TV camera to the friends talking to you on your cell phone? Dunked in a vat of blue ink.
You got the idea.
Kooking Korner
Making this tonight along with a rotisserie grilled brine marinated chicken. This sauce is courtesy of my Food Network feisty gal, Rachel Ray. I got your peanut sauce here, Rachel.
1/2 pound spaghetti 1/4 cup Tamari dark soy, eyeball it 1/4 rounded cup smooth peanut butter, softened in microwave 15 seconds on high 2 tablespoons cider or rice wine vinegar 1 tablespoon dark sesame oil, eyeball it 2 tablespoons hot sauce 2 cups shredded cabbage and carrot mix, available in produce department 1 cup bean sprouts or pea shoots, any variety, available in produce department 3 scallions, chopped on an angle 2 tablespoons sesame seeds
Last time I added mustard but I think it overpowered the peanut sauce. Add a tossed salad on the side with Oriental dressing and crunchy won ton noodles with Mandarin oranges and Bob is your g-damn freakin’ Mofizzy Uncle, my Homeizzy.
Notice how nobody e-mails on weekends? Why is that? Also traffic on my blog plummets on Saturday and Sunday. It is clear that it serves only as a work time waster to a select and successful few. Right on, Slats and Nuggies.
More crap you don't care about
For the first time I snowboarded with my iPod last trip in Park City and it was great. It was like starring in a really sad and pathetic Warren Miller movie;
Narrator:
“And here is Alex Kaseberg, watch as he comes over the top of a slightly- steeper-than-normal double blue and slows to perfect the whimpy falling leaf traverse. See how he pushes off all the fresh snow ruining that path for those who will follow?”
As the music plays, you get fired up and it could easily turn into a case of your brain writing checks your body cannot cash. (In the light and fresh powder of Utah, it actually occurred to me to launch some air. I am not a launch some air snowboarder) At one point AC/DC's "Noise Pollution" sent me rocketing into the trees. Bless the helmet.
But as I came in on the last run of the trip, Joe Walsh’s “Rocky Mountain Way” kicked in and it was more than kinda cool. Kinda cool.
My cold kept me from St. Patty’ing the way a really white boy with Scotch/Irish blood should. Oh well, I feel good today and will try to work out.
New Pet Peeve. This goes along with those chunks of human cholesterol who are always standing in the way. Those idiots who look like they’re standing in line, you get in back of them and it turns out they aren’t in line but they didn’t bother to tell you. Come to think of it, this isn’t new, but it has been happening a lot.
When you discover they aren’t in line - because someone else walks up in front of you - you then miss your place in line, then you have to ask; “Excuse me, are you in line?” Then they say no, as if to say, why do you ask? It takes everything I’ve got not to ask;
“So why did you think I was standing right in back of you, you mindless gerbil?”
Blue spray paint. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. We need to have roving independent teams of Civil Decency Police who, when they catch these inconsiderate and rude offenders, issue a ticket and a huge fine – that pays the CDP’s salary - and the officers spray indelible blue ink on their forehead so the rest of us will know ahead of time that they are a-holes.
“Excuse me, do you know who I am?”
“Yes, you’re the putz with the blue-tinted forehead, now get back in line, you schmuck.”
Park in a fire zone? Blue paint. Balance your entire check book before you write a check in the Ten Items or Less line? Blue paint. Make a pedestrian walking in the rain stand and wait while you drive by high and dry? Blue paint plus an added bonus of a kick in the ass. Subject captive strangers to loud cell phone conversations? Blue. Stand at the front of a long line and ask the clerk a billion stupid questions you should have answered yourself before making everyone in back of you wait? Taken outside and then shot. Then spray their face. Hang a long slow diagonal parking lot walk on a waiting driver? So blue. Sit there with –way-too-good-for-you-tickets-behind-home-plate and wave like an utter moron at the TV camera to the friends talking to you on your cell phone? Dunked in a vat of blue ink.
You got the idea.
Kooking Korner
Making this tonight along with a rotisserie grilled brine marinated chicken. This sauce is courtesy of my Food Network feisty gal, Rachel Ray. I got your peanut sauce here, Rachel.
1/2 pound spaghetti 1/4 cup Tamari dark soy, eyeball it 1/4 rounded cup smooth peanut butter, softened in microwave 15 seconds on high 2 tablespoons cider or rice wine vinegar 1 tablespoon dark sesame oil, eyeball it 2 tablespoons hot sauce 2 cups shredded cabbage and carrot mix, available in produce department 1 cup bean sprouts or pea shoots, any variety, available in produce department 3 scallions, chopped on an angle 2 tablespoons sesame seeds
Last time I added mustard but I think it overpowered the peanut sauce. Add a tossed salad on the side with Oriental dressing and crunchy won ton noodles with Mandarin oranges and Bob is your g-damn freakin’ Mofizzy Uncle, my Homeizzy.
Notice how nobody e-mails on weekends? Why is that? Also traffic on my blog plummets on Saturday and Sunday. It is clear that it serves only as a work time waster to a select and successful few. Right on, Slats and Nuggies.
More crap you don't care about
For the first time I snowboarded with my iPod last trip in Park City and it was great. It was like starring in a really sad and pathetic Warren Miller movie;
Narrator:
“And here is Alex Kaseberg, watch as he comes over the top of a slightly- steeper-than-normal double blue and slows to perfect the whimpy falling leaf traverse. See how he pushes off all the fresh snow ruining that path for those who will follow?”
As the music plays, you get fired up and it could easily turn into a case of your brain writing checks your body cannot cash. (In the light and fresh powder of Utah, it actually occurred to me to launch some air. I am not a launch some air snowboarder) At one point AC/DC's "Noise Pollution" sent me rocketing into the trees. Bless the helmet.
But as I came in on the last run of the trip, Joe Walsh’s “Rocky Mountain Way” kicked in and it was more than kinda cool. Kinda cool.
posted by Alex at
11:22 AM
