Eric Clapton talks about his guitar and plays some licks (1968)

Thanksgiving is a day to reflect, be with your family, look at your relatives and say, “Well no wonder I’m all messed up.” 

Charles Manson left all of his belongings to his pen pal. So enjoy all that cool stuff Charlie Manson willed you, OJ Simpson.

In Afghanistan, ISIS beheaded 15 of its own members for infighting. Here is my question: how much of an asshole do you have to be to be too much of an asshole for ISIS?

They misunderstood ISIS’s recruiting slogan: Join ISIS to get ahead.

Donald Trump said the F-35 fighter jet is invisible even if you’re next to it. So you can impress your family by telling them you bought them a F-35 flyover for Thanksgiving dinner. 

Kim Kardashian is calling for the release of a woman who killed a man when she was a 16-year-old prostitute. Because, in addition to all her other vast skills, Kim is nothing if not an expert on criminal defense law.  

While admittedly not a lawyer, Kim feels qualified to weigh in on this case due to her having watched an entire episode of "Judge Judy." 

Charlie Manson’s grandson, Jason Freeman, said he regretted not being able to see his grandfather before he died. As a child, Manson would play “I got your nose” with Freeman. Once Charlie actually had his nose. But they sewed it back on.

Donald Trump’s Twitter war with LaVar Ball has created so much publicity, it has doubled sales of Ball’s $495 basketball shoe. Ball has now sold four pairs. 

 A guy made almost $1,000 starting a GoFundMe account claiming it was for Charles Manson’s funeral.  What idiot would fall for that scam? Besides, I gave my money to a Nigerian Prince who is going to make me rich.

 A guy made almost $1,000 starting a GoFundMe account lying it was for Charles Manson’s funeral. What sleazy con-artist would take money away from good causes? Like the fund I am raising to defend OJ Simpson against future legal problems.

In Afghanistan, ISIS beheaded 15 of its own members for infighting. Being beheaded is probably preferable to having  "Been Fired By ISIS" on your record.  

Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. Kim finally could not put up with Stephanie’s programing their computers in Java and not Python.

Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys, Drumstick and Wishbone. Their full names are Drumstick Covfefe and Wishbone Bigly.

Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. When asked why she fired her, Kim said, “I asked her to be all like, you know, but she was like, whatever.” 

Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. Kim finally could not put up with Stephanie’s inability to utilize the Oxford comma. 

Charles Manson has died joining such luminaries in hell as Jack-the-Ripper, Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden and whoever invented Robocalls.




Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. Kim finally could not put up with Stephanie’s blatant cheating on "Words With Friends."


Sklatermoisakrunt. 

In football, USC beat UCLA 28-23. As you know, UCLA now stands for Unabashedly Confiscating Lenswear in Asia.

The father, LaVar, can’t go a day without an idiotic statement, LiAngelo  was caught stealing sunglasses in China and Lonzo is shooting below .300% for the Lakers. For a family named Ball, they sure are not on one.

Donald Trump tweeted for the suspension of Oakland Raider, Marshawn Lynch, for sitting during the National Anthem and standing during the Mexican anthem. Trump also wants to build a wall between Marshawn and his dred-locks. 

New York Giant, Jason Pierre-Paul got hurt, but rose to his feet and gave his teammates a high-three.

Police arrested a man attempting to jump the White House pedestrian barrier. Turns out it was Jared Kushner trying to get out.

USC hung on to beat UCLA, 28-23. This was shades of classic USC-UCLA games, and quite a spectacle, UCLA tried to steal the game, but got caught.

For college football, ESPN has an announcer named Booger McFarland. Booger’s new so he’s a little green, but he did not blow it. And he did pick a winner without being snotty about it.

Good news. The missing Argentinian submarine tried to contact satellites. Things were looking so bleak for a while, they almost changed the name of the sub from San Juan to the Cleveland Browns.

A Navy pilot has been grounded for sky-drawing a penis. The pilot swears he was just trying to draw a portrait of Bill Cosby.

After the UCLA basketball players sunglasses shoplifting fiasco in China, the UCLA-USC football game is the Ray-Ban Bowl. USC shades towards being the favorite, but UCLA will try and steal the game. Hopefully it won’t be a spectacle.  

The Atlanta Falcons are demolishing the Georgia Dome so there will be no trace of where they played. “Wait. You can do that?” Asked Cleveland Browns fans.