Oh, no I di . . .’nt
Notre Dame is 0-4, their worst start in history. In fact, they are so behind in their conference, for Notre Dame to get any more behind they’d have to be a priest.
Yeah, right, Akmed
Speaking at Columbia, Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said there are no homosexuals in Iran; yeah, right, and I suppose his beard and hair achieved that fierce ebony sheen all by themselves. Get over yourself, Moody-kins.
Speaking at Columbia, Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said there are no homosexuals in Iran; oh, right, and I suppose those fabulous Arabian tapestries just get tastefully hung all by themselves. Stoop it, you silly Moud-Moud.
Speaking at Columbia, Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said there are no homosexuals in Iran; Mahmoud then excused himself and went into the men’s room and started tapping his foot.
Buh bye, Barry
The San Francisco Giants announced they are not re-signing Barry Bonds. Bonds is just too expensive, not his salary, it’s the rising costs of pharmaceuticals.
And they can’t find a hat that is big enough to fit.
In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. Marceau revived the art of mime and had a more famous career than his brother Murray Marceau. Murray was a great mime but, tragically, Murray developed a career ending illness for a mime: Tourette’s syndrome
In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. Marceau revived the art of mime and, as a result, he perfected forced applause, stifled yawns and he initiated the popular phrase; “Mommy, why can’t the scary clown talk?”
Since you asked:
How about these baseball playoffs Baseball purists may not like it, but thank god for the wild card. My three favorite teams are fighting for their lives, my beloved Cubbies, my adopted-when-I-can’t-watch-the-Cubs Padres and my favorite AFL team (American League) the Boston Red Sox.
When a big game is on I like to observe my favorite new style of dinning: appetizers and snacks with style. Pop the cork on a tasty red wine and set out a bowl of pistachios in the shell, Greek olives, olive oil and balsamic marinated carrot slices, grapes, apple slices, cheese and crackers and salami. Usually I grill one thing that is really easy like shrimp or beer boiled brats. And Bob is your g*damn, frickin’, no-good, lousy Uncle. We just nosh, nosh, nosh like widdle bunnies.
Speaking of salami, that reminds me of one of my favorite homophobic dirty jokes:
Flamingly gay guy flits and skips into an old fashioned New York neighborhood butcher shop complete with a big strong hairy guy behind the counter and hisses:
“Two pounds of Pepperoni, and make it sssnappy, SSSlappy.”
Rolling his eyes, the butcher asks;
“Youse want it sliced?.”
The gay guy frowns, flounces and spits out:
“What do you think my assss isss, a piggy bank?”