We getting’ our getting’ on on, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
It’s was so wet in Los Angeles, the Dodger’s Manny Rameriz tested positive for mermaid hormones.
The rumor from Afghanistan is they are close to capturing Osama bin Laden; they plan to subdue him and torture him mercilessly. That’s right, NBC will give Osama their 10:00 PM spot.
The FBI reports a 20% decrease in bank robberies in 2009. Experts equate this drop is due to the fact there is 40% less money to rob. You know the economy is bad when bank robbers are out of work.
It’s so wet in Los Angeles customers are getting soaked by companies besides banks.
It’s so wet in Los Angeles, the Clippers blamed their last loss on sea sickness.
It hailed in Los Angeles. It was sad, all the mistresses in Beverly Hills ran outside because they thought their rich married boyfriend was showering them with diamonds.
In Nevada there is the first ever licensed male prostitute. Women, for $50 he talks dirty to you, for $100 he has sex with you, and for $500 he’ll take you shopping and tell you your butt looks skinny in those jeans.
In Nevada there is the first ever licensed male prostitute. Women, for $50 he talks dirty to you, for $100 he’ll spank you, and if you really want to get kinky, for $500 he’ll put the toilet seat back down after going to the bathroom.
In Nevada there is the first ever licensed male prostitute. Women, for $50 he talks dirty to you, for $100 he’ll spank you, and if you really want to get kinky, for $500 he’ll let you handle the TV remote.
Sources say Tiger Woods is in a sex addiction rehab center in Mississippi. Treating sex addiction in Mississippi is a little different. Step one? Learning to just say no to barnyard animals
In Nevada there is the first ever licensed male prostitute. In fact, he going to be on Oprah. No, really, for $10 grand he is going to be on top of Oprah.
A rumor in San Diego blames the Charger’s poor playoff performance against the New York Jets on players staying out all Friday night at a strip club. The strip club hurt their football skills, but their golf swing improved dramatically.
Since you asked:
Where the hell was all of this amazing support and sympathy for Conan O’Brien when he had a show he needed people to watch? I watched the show religiously – as I did “The Jay Leno Show” - thanks to the miracle of DVR and, unlike the show’s ratings, the show was very good.
From the start – and four months before “The Jay Leno Show” O’Brien’s ratings were less than half of what Leno used to get, and I did not understand why. The monologues were sharp and the skits were clever and funny. Conan is an amazingly quick-witted interviewer and the guests were great.
So why didn’t all of these avid Conan supporters watch the frickin' show? Why? Because the hip and happening crowd that now cries for Conan so much is too hip and happening to watch TV. That is sort of a problem when you host a TV show that depends on ratings.
Conan will kick ass on Fox just like - and this is really going to make me a rebel - Jay Leno is going to kick ass re-hosting "The Tonight Show" again.
The person I have been the most disappointed in during this late show debacle was David Letterman. As a huge fan, I have come to expect a lot of Letterman and I thought his attacks on Jay were mean-spirited and bitter sounding. In football, he would have been flagged for piling on. Kimmel and Letterman's attack on Jay seemed self-serving and smacked of sore losers as they lost to Leno at 11:35 before and they clearly don't want to lose to him again.
In fact, the only person who escaped this horrific poop-throwing storm without getting any on him was Jimmy Fallon. He, like Conan and Jay, is a class act.
In fact, the only real bad guys in this thing are the dorkenfloggers at NBC. The bad guy is certainly not Leno.
Conan's farewell speech was classy and brilliant. To paraphrase, if you work hard and are kind you can accomplish amazing things.
Here here, Consky O'Bonesky. Well done, well done indeed.