The right-thinking person's favorite Beatle

For reals here’s the deals, McSqueals, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

( "I didn't get a harumph out of that guy. You watch your ass.)

BlackBerry is experiencing outages all over North America. It is so sad, today I saw a guy driving trying to Google on his garage door opener.

Mexico is bracing for Hurricane Jova. However, after hearing about the rampant drug violence in Mexico, Hurricane Jova decided to turn back and vacation in Hawaii instead.

Ozzie Osbourne is going to be a grandfather again. When asked to comment, Ozzie said; “I’m proud of my son, Jack and his fiancé, Lisa.” That or he said; “Umba rowdy mice on shack anise fancily easy.”


Yesterday was National Coming Out Day, it took me a day to get the courage, but, wow, here I go: I would like to announce that Michelle Bachman’s husband, Marcus, is gay. Phew.

Hank Williams Jr. song “Are You Ready for Some Football” was dropped as the “MNF” theme after Williams compared President Obama to Hitler. Now Williams has written a new song, “Fox And Friends.” What? That’s shocking, I can’t believe it. Hank Williams Jr. wrote a new song?

A pregnant woman, Amber Miller, ran the Chicago Marathon and then gave birth to a healthy baby girl seven hours later. They decided to name the baby June, actually her full name is June “What the hell was I thinking?” Miller.


Since you asked:
You can tell a lot about a person by who is their favorite Beatle and why. Granted, your favorite Beatle is subjective, sometimes these things pick you, and I could see why you'd like any one of them. They are all amazing.

But in general, if your favorite is Ringo? You're just being a contrarian. Paul? You like the too-obvious and pretty-boys. John? You consider yourself an artist/intellectual, whether you are one or not.

Me? George Harrison, and I can explain why.

By the time music started becoming really important to me, the Beatles had quit touring a long time ago. They belonged more to my friend’s older siblings then me. And, although I loved their early stuff “Help” “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and their later “We Can Work It Out,” their hits seem to be getting weirder and weirder. “Sgt. Pepper.” “Yellow Submarine” “I am the Walrus.” “Strawberry Fields.” "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" “Oblie Frickin’ De”?

Now most of my favorite songs were by Paul, “Hey Jude,” “Let it Be” “Yesterday.” But George’s “Something” and “Here Comes the Sun” and “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” really spoke to me. Paul was too much of a pretty boy, and his later bubble gum crap with “Wings” was borderline embarrassing. No, it was flat out embarrassing.

And John had apparently done lost his mind with that crazy bitch, Yoko.

And then George knocked the rest of the ex-Beatles out of the water with his solo album “All Things Must Pass.” And then he followed it up with the amazingly-ahead-of-it’s-time “Concert for Bangladesh.”

George’s songs “Beware of Darkness” “Isn’t it a Pity” "My Sweet Lord" "Wah Wah" and “Give Me Love” blew away anything besides “Imagine” done by the solo Beatles.

Yes, George hit us way too hard with the never-was-going-to-be-liked sitar of Ravi Shankar and all that Hari Krishna chanting crap. But that was still better than the sappy pop Paul was churning out and the “Help, I am trapped in a two-person nut-job cult” of John and Yoko.

And Ringo, although hilarious and adorable, wasn’t in their category as a solo artist. His two hits, “It Don’t Come Easy” and "Photograph" were written by George.

Do you want to know how far we've fallen?

Daniel Boone was once asked if he had ever been lost. He said;

"No, I've never been lost, but I was a might confused for a few weeks."

In Mass, a family lost in a corn maze calls 911. They were 25 yards from the street.

Jill Costello: 2011 Spirit of ABW Award

That is the true frickus and a whoop-ginny, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Guess who is performing at halftime of the Super Bowl? Madonna. Yeah, I guess Tiffany was booked.

BlackBerry is experiencing outages all over North America. It is so sad, today I saw a guy driving trying to Google on his garage door opener.

Mexico is bracing for Hurricane Jova. However, after hearing about the rampant drug violence in Mexico, Hurricane Jova decided to turn back and vacation in Hawaii instead.

Ozzie Osbourne is going to be a grandfather again. When asked to comment, Ozzie said; “I’m proud of my son, Jack and his fiancé, Lisa.” That or he said “Umba rowdy mice on shack anise fancily easy.”


Yesterday was National Coming Out Day, it took me a day to get the courage, but, wow, here I go: I would like to announce that Michelle Bachman’s husband, Marcus, is gay. Phew. That took guts.

Remember Joe The Plumber? He has filed to run for congress from Ohio. Yeah, when it came to running for office, Joe The Plumber thought he’d take a crack at it.

A pregnant woman, Amber Miller, ran the Chicago Marathon and then gave birth to a healthy baby girl seven hours later. They decided to name the baby June, actually her full name is June “What the hell was I thinking?” Miller.

In South Africa, a mountain bike racer was rammed by an antelope. Screw the home on the range if this is how the antelope play.

In California, mountain bikers are attacked by Mountain lions. Ocean swimmers are attacked by sharks, in South Carolina, a jogger got hit by a plane. But nothing ever happens to the guys eating Cheetos on the couch. 


Guess who is going to perform at the halftime of the Super Bowl? Madonna. When told a washed-up middle-aged performer who looks like a scary transvestite was performing, most people thought it was Steven Tyler.

The largest sperm bank in the world, Cyros, has said they cannot take anymore donations from redheaded men, they have much more supply of sperm than demand. Or as I called more sperm supply than demand: high school.

Since you asked:
Lord I had a blast on my board, J.C. (named in honor of Jill Costello) at Scripps and La Jolla Shores this morgan. Many nice three-to-four footers. Rights and lefts with one nice kick out.

But SUP surfing, if done hard, do wipe a body out. Came home, had a piece of cinnamon coffee cake, a Latte, and a smoothie, did some work, and then slipped into something comfortable on my office leather couch called a coma. One of those close-your-eyes-open-them-and-it-turns-out-to-be-an-hour-later deals.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside [Official Music Video]

The First Dog, Bo, is one formal dog with his tuxedo and spats on him

We just got our funk did, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Two of the big Halloween costumes this year are vampires and Snooki. One is a scary blood-sucking leech, the other is a vampire.

In New Hampshire, a moose got stuck in a pool. Firefighters were able to guide the moose to safety. But is it just me, or does Moose Stuck in a Pool sound like the name of a kinky sex act?

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian got remarried on “Ellen.” “Gosh, I just wish I knew so much more about the Kardashians;” said nobody on the planet.

Guess who is going to perform at the halftime of the Super Bowl? Madonna. “This is so exciting;” said a teenage girl in 1985.



Since you asked:
So yesterday, I go for a three mile run with some strides mixed in. Ahead of me I see this older guy – maybe early-sixties, but in great shape and a hard runner – whom I have noticed before due to his religious wearing of these big-ol' University of Oregon-colored bright forest green and yellow trunks.

My first reaction is my old competitive;

“Well, I can’t let this older dude run faster than me, I have to pass him.”

But then I realized who cares? It is a beautiful day, we’re both getting great exercise, I’m 53 and just trying to get fitter, it really doesn’t matter how fast I run anymore. It was a great feeling of maturity, wisdom and contentment.

(By the way, I blew past Grampa Duck-drawers by a whole block in just three blocks)

"It is official, Fort Wayne will not be naming the new government building after former Mayor Harry Baals due to the potential jokes," said Fort Wayne spokesperson, Peter Gowzinya.

A Stand Up Paddle Movie Trailer Web

Looooooooook at 'dem big 'ol puppy paws on Stanley

Stand Up Paddle Boarding Atlantic Beach NC - SUP wipe out

Are you thinking what I am thinking when you see this? Yep, their paddles are too angled. They have to me more up-and down straighter if they want to stay paddling on a straighter line


Fan throws a hot dog at Tiger Woods while he is putting. If only the wiener had landed in the hole, it would have been the greatest Tiger Woods joke EVER.



The Philadelphia Eagles have lost four in a row. Last week, Michael Vick blamed the referees for the loss. This week? His dog ate his playbook.



Madonna is performing at halftime of the Super Bowl. When told a middle-aged has-been who looks like a scary drag queen would perform, most thought it was Steven Tyler.

So if Madonna is performing at the Super Bowl halftime, not only is the game being played in Indianapolis, apparently it is also being played in 1985.

Now that I think about it, Madonna is the perfect choice for the Super Bowl halftime. What says football more than a cone-bra wearing middle-aged bisexual with a fake English accent?


Lex's Stand Up Paddle Board Surfing Tip of the Day:

When paddling hard for a wave - and you cannot paddle too hard - instead of staying in the regular paddle position with your feet shoulder length and parallel, drop your surfer-stance back foot back just a foot. It is not far enough back to slow the board down, but it puts you in a more ready position to turn once you catch the wave. Once you catch the wave and turn, you can slide the back foot farther back. Or if you're about to miss the wave underneath, you can step forward with your front foot to push the board down the wave. Then put your weight on the back foot to keep from pearling the nose*.

Pearling the Nose is my new surfer rock band.

*Pearling the nose is death. It puts you right where you don't want to be right when you don't want to be there. It stabs the nose of your board underwater, bringing it to dead halt, while the back of your board is being pushed forward by the wave, with you in the middle of everything right in the impact zone. Flop, crash, splash, spin, bang, ouch, what-the-hell? Why?

Manganese. Cinch bugs. That kind of thing.

How to begin in waves -- tips and techniques

My B.B.'s looked just like this here

Wendi and Kea paddle board

'Dis doggie right here a good boyyyyyyyyyy

What we got here is a serious case of kerfuffle in the imbroglio, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


In Austria, Arnold Schwarzenegger dedicated his childhood home as a museum in his own honor; currently Arnold is interviewing prospective maids for the house privately.

The museum includes a giant brass statue of Arnold on the front lawn. The statue is very realistic except the testicles are bigger and far more lifelike.

And the statue is a much better actor than Arnold.


Since you asked:

Oakland Raider owner, Al Davis, was a classic example of a man you could despise intensely for all of his slime-ball and sleazy screwing of great people and places, but somehow you also had to admire his sand.

Not only did Davis screw-over people far classier and nicer, like Pete Rozelle, Marcus Allen and Charger owner Eugene Klein, Davis also screwed entire cities, Oakland by moving to Los Angeles, then he screwed Los Angeles – including stealing $10 mil from a poor blue-collar town Irwindale – by moving back to Oakland. The mean-spirited vindictiveness Davis constantly lived on bordered on insanity.

For better or for worse, Davis was proof that a terrible and loathsome human being can achieve incredible things. This is not speaking ill of the dead, this is simply the truth. Nothing is more hypocritical than glossing-over a dead person's horrible acts in life.

"Stalin wasn't a bad guy once you got to know him."

But as angry, litigious, bitter, classless and tacky as Davis was – he dressed and looked like a Hoboken porn store owner leaving a dime tip at a greasy spoon diner – Davis was a true rebel and a sports pioneer. Al Davis really did do it his way.

No doubt about it, love him or hate him, Al Davis left a considerable mark. And he was not boring. He was, as the saying goes, really fun to hate and I am going to miss that.

Now, you know hows I hates to brags about my grilling, but . . .

Baby back pork ribs, membrane removed from the back, marinate in apple juice and enough sea salt to make a tad salty and a blast of garlic powder. Three hours.

Make a rub of garlic powder, smoked paprika, ground pepper, Old Bay. Rub liberally. Preheat oven to 200. Place ribs on a dripping pan and cover with aluminum foil, in the oven four hours.

For the barbeque sauce, sauté finely diced sweet onion, add garlic powder and salt, a jar of peach marmalade, good blast of beer, apple cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, ketchup and honey, let it simmer down by at least half until thick.

Prepare the Weber grill as a smoker with oak lump charcoal. Close the bottom holes and top holes to over half shut. Soak apple wood chips in water. Throw the soaked chips on top of the coals, put the ribs meat-side up away from the coals and cover. Let the ribs smoke at about 220 degrees for an hour and a half. For the last 15 minutes slather both sides with the peach BBQ sauce.

For the final touch sear the ribs meat side down directly over the coals just for a minute or so to get some grill markings.

Let rest under a tent of tin foil. Slice in individual slices and occasional two-rib slices. Should slice like a hot knife through butter. Arrange grilled meat-side up on a metal serving platter and cover with quite a few peach slices.

Play rocking blues harmonica, namely Sonny Boy, Slim, Junior and Little Walter, light candles and always provide hand wipes. The meat is tender, but not soupy, slightly al dente, you can still taste the pork along with a touch of smoke and the sweetness of the peach sauce.

That is a boo yah too yah in the hoosekah.

Started doing TM (Transcendental Meditation) again, just once in the early evening to relax. It is amazing how good I feel. Think the best of both worlds of a massage and a good nap.

It is amazing how the mind works. When I meditate, with fondness I can clearly think back to the sounds, thoughts and smells of when I first did TM regularly in high school. Can smell the cork wall in my room I used to pin-up clipping from "Sports Illustrated". The feel of the orange corduroy bed spread and the big foam block I rested my back against with my bare feet on the white pile carpet.

Can almost hear our dog, Charlie, scampering around with his toenails skipping on the tile kitchen floor downstairs as my mom laughed on the phone as she diced up onions for meat loaf or spaghetti. How selfish, spoiled and psychotically uptight my later-in-high school sadistic alleged "girlfriends" were.

OK, it isn't all memories of fondness . . .