You either have March Madness or you don’t. When I found out Davidson upset Gonzaga, I told a guy in our office; “Oh, shoot, I have Gonzaga in the semis.” He said; “That’s what happens when you don’t wear a condom.”
It was a little embarrassing when France’s president Nicolas Sarkozy christened France’s latest nuclear submarine; when Sarkozy wound up to smash the bow of the Sub with the champagne bottle, the French Submarine captain jumped out and surrendered.
Viva la difference
They now have a blow-up sex doll that looks like Paris Hilton. You know the difference between the blow-up Paris Hilton sex doll and the real Paris? The real Paris blows you up.
A woman in Germany checked into a hospital for a routine procedure, but due to a clerical mix up, surgeons gave her a new anus by mistake; they got the idea of replacing an old anus for a new anus by watching our presidential campaign.
A woman in Germany checked into a hospital for a routine procedure, but due to a clerical mix up, surgeons gave her a new anus by mistake; when the lady found out, she was so mad she wanted to tear those doctors a new one.
Read the directions
They now have a blow-up sex doll that looks like Paris Hilton. Sexually transmitted disease sold separately.
The latest horny New York Gov., David Peterson, admitted he had affairs with a woman at a Days Inn. Apparently she was far too classy to fool around in a Seven-Eleven restroom.
Golfer John Daly was disqualified from a tournament because he overslept and missed his tee time. Apparently the 325-pound Daly was up all night writing his thesis: “Why Golfers Are Tremendous Athletes.”
Sign of the times
The Spring break town of Riviera, FLA has banned baggy, low-riding pants. They even posted signs: “If We Can See Your Crack, Don’t You Dare Come Back.”
Hate to see that
New Jersey reports coyote attacks are up. Well, not attacks, exactly, but the pesky coyotes keep digging up all of the Mafia’s bodies.
Taking back the Buck in Starbucks
Starbucks announced they going to stop selling one dollar coffees. The shot glasses kept breaking.
Is this necessary?
They now have a blow-up sex doll that looks like Paris Hilton. Do we really need a Paris Hilton sex doll? Hasn’t everyone who wanted to sleep with Paris done it by now?