Yule time ruckus
Since you asked:
Although I was paid fairly well, probably over what I deserved, New York is wildly expensive and I was living hand-to-mouth. No summer home in the Hamptons, no private jets. Hell, no air conditioning in the summer. That sucked.
On the other hand, I was working out at the swanky Downtown Athletic Club, I was dining at these amazing restaurants and going out to these chic clubs and dating a lot of very attractive women, including one eye-melting, but certifiably insane blonde from the Ford Modeling Agency.
OK, I went on one date with her. Several dates, though, with a professional dancer who used to dance for the New York Ballet and then did a lot of work for MTV music videos.
Last night at an awesome Christmas party at my buddy, Kevin's house - I got to grill shrimp, drink, eat great meat and play the harmonica - I was reminded of a story I haven't told in a while.
Truth be told, I had just had a burger and a few beers at lunch, so I was feeling pretty good. What do I see, but a 50-ish attractive woman walking the cutest little yellow Labrador puppy.
Immediately I dissolve into my goofy baby-talk puppy melt-down;
"Was 'dis my widdle wuppers, puppers? Yeeeessss, did wasses my widdles, piddles puppers, whuppers . . ."
The women then starts speaking at me in a very monotone, loud and amazingly slow speech;
"Do . . . you . . . like . . . puppies?"
"Why are you talking to me like that?" I asked.
She clapped her palm to her mouth and laughed;
"Oh, my word, I thought you were mentally challenged."
Wasn't the first, won't be the last.