That she blows
Tropical Storm Chantal has formed in the Atlantic. And if Chantal gets any stronger, she could turn into a full blown hurricane ‘ho.
Hurricane Chantal is a little unusual. Not a lot of rain but it sure blows a lot.
Where did the time go?
Can you believe it is August already? Time is flying by faster than a drunk astronaut.
How about those astronauts lifting off drunk? “Houston, we have a hangover.”
How about those astronauts lifting off drunk? I’m not surprised. Hey, you try drinking nothing but straight Tang.
Apparently, when it comes to space missions, NASA stands for Not Against Sending Alcoholics.
Aww, that’s nice
San Diego’s giant panda, Bai Yun, is pregnant. And when the baby panda is born, Angelina Jolie is going to adopt it.
How about those astronauts taking off drunk? Somebody leaked an embarrassing video clip of a drunk astronaut trying to eat his freeze dried hamburger off the floor.
The British invasion
England’s new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, is visiting the United States; And he brought his wife, Posh Brown.
England’s new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, is visiting the United States; unfortunately, he will not be able to perform due to a bad ankle.
After an incredible amount of hype, $250 mil David Beckham will probably miss his official M.L.S. debut in Toronto due to a bad ankle. They were right, Beckham has done the impossible for soccer, he has figured out how to disappoint American fans with soccer even further.
A German doping expert said he has evidence that the Tour De France winner, Spain’s Alberto Cantador, cheated with drugs. If this Tour De France gets any more bad news they’ll have to change it’s name to the Atlanta Falcons.
Paris Hilton could have her entire inheritance, $60 million, cut because her grandfather, Conrad Hilton, is fed up with Paris embarrassing the Hilton name. You thought Paris cried when they took her back to jail?
Tropical Storm Chantal has formed in the Atlantic. Tropical Storm Chantal is a little different; Chantal is the first tropical storm that will give you a lap dance for $20.
Oh, that time
Now that he is closing in on the all-time home run record, stories of how charming Barry Bonds can be are emerging. Sorry, make that the one story of the time Barry Bonds was charming has emerged.
Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy
One of Michael Vick co-defendants is going to cop a plea. You know what that means in dog terms? The co-defendant is going to roll over and Vick will play dead.
President Bush’s approval rating is at an all time low. In fact, the only way Bush’s popularity could get worse is if he sent dogs to fight in Iraq.
“The Simpsons Movie” is out in theaters and doing well. Now don’t confuse “The Simpsons Movie” with “The OJ Simpson Movie.” In “The Simpsons Movie” Homer is searching for the real crullers.
This has been a rough summer for Paris Hilton. First she went to jail, now her show “The Simple Life” has been cancelled and her grandfather, Conrad Hilton, might cut off her inheritance. Now there is a rumor that Paris tried to enter her Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, in a Michael Vick dog fight.
Since you asked:
This has been – knock on wood. No, really, knock on wood three times – a really great summer. Ann Caroline has learned to swim and swim really well. Her soccer is out of this world. We’ve taken her to her first Padres game, I saw two out of three Cubs games, we had an amazing private tour of the Wild Animal Park thanks to our friend, Rich Messina. Many, many trips to the beach, Sea World, picnics and concerts at Humphries including the great John Hiatt. Many, many, many barbeques. Playing harp with my bands.
You got the idea. Old school San Diego stuff.
Now with the advent of my going to try stand up paddle surfing, I have decided to fully embrace my inner California kook. Yes, I am going to let my California freak flag fly. Healthier, lighter food, moderate sipping of California red wines, lots of pistachio nuts, avocados, working out religiously, and, mountain biking, and I am even going to take up the old TM again.
Now, if I was in Chicago – and had more money, like my rich Winnetka friends – I would have Cubs and Bears season tickets and play golf at the fancy country club, own a nice bass boat and play that game in the winter that looks like tennis on wood slats. But I’m not, I’m in California.
So tonight it is a grilled steak Asian salad with a Cabernet. No, make that pan-seared Mahi Mahi with a white wine and caper reduction sauce with asparagus served over rice pilaf with a crisp non-oak Chardonnay.
And no, flying my California avocado-head freak flag does not mean that I am gay. (Not that there is anything wrong with it)
Whimpy? Maybe. But not gay.