What’s the skinny on the ginny, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

Nothing but losers
The Dallas Cowboys beat the Green Bay Packers 37-27.

The real score? Devoted, loyal and enthusiastic football fans, zero, greedy, rat-bastard, selfish, whore-monger NFL Network, zero.

And who can blame him?
Osama bin Laden has another video out.

Apparently Osama thinks it is shameful that Maria Osmond didn’t win “Dancing With The Stars.”

Name game
Notre Dame went 3-9 and will not be going to a bowl game.

In fact, if things got any worse they could shave their heads, expose their vagina and change their name to the Britney Spears.

Piano man
In a sign of tough retail times, the upscale department store chain, Nordstroms, announced they are fazing out the lobby piano players

On the bright side, Wal Mart announced they will now feature old guy greeters playing the kazoo.

How rainy was it?
Man it was raining hard in Los Angeles.

It was so rainy Lindsay Lohan was arrested for driving her row boat under the influence.

It was so rainy, Britney Spears had to put on her Burberry panties.

It was so rainy even Paris Hilton was smart enough to come in out of the rain.

Guess again, Tony
The Dallas Cowboys beat the Green Bay Packers 37-27.

Cowboy QB Tony Romo is dating Jessica Simpson. That’s hard for Romo’s lineman:

“Let me get this straight, I get to bash my brains in to protect your little butt so you can sleep with Jessica Simpson? I don’t think so.”

'Bama dog
Auburn cornerback Jarraud Powers suffered bites on his hand in Saturday's victory over Alabama when he strayed too close to a police dog just outside the end zone.

You think that’s bad? You don’t even want to know what the police dog did to the leg of the Auburn Tiger mascot.