Saturday, December 01, 2007

We takin’ one to the dome for the team, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers.

Boyz 2 Cheeseheads

The Dallas Cowboys beat the Green Bay Packers 37-27.

Cowboy QB Tony Romo is dating Jessica Simpson. That’s hard for Romo’s lineman: “Let me get this straight, I get to bash my brains in to protect your little butt so you can sleep with Jessica Simpson? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Muy malo
The new Tijuana Police chief has vowed to create an honest force.

To give you an idea how corrupt the last Tijuana Police force was, all they ever did was chase down the other cops who stole their bribe money.

For better or for worse, an American original
In sad news, daredevil Evel Knievel passed away.

Here is my question: if a motorcycle guy always falls and busts himself up, can he still be called a daredevil? Isn’t he just a nutty klutz?

In keeping with Evel’s last wish, the funeral will be fun when they fire the casket up a ramp and into the grave.

Not clever enough by half
Louisiana State University’s football coach, Les Miles, has accepted the Michigan job vacated by the retiring Lloyd Carr.

Personally I think it would be better if they both coached there at the same time. That way you would have (wait for it, wait for it) a Carr with Les Miles.

Since you asked:
Even though we here at the offices of a.L.B.b. are not effected by the writer's strike directly, primarily because I don't get paid for this, I want all the good people here at "A Little Bit Bad Productions" to know that I will personally be footing the bill for the non-writer's salaries during this tough time. It's a little something I like to call teamwork.

(Polite applause)

Speaking of the writer’s strike.
I just read a story with the huge headline “Joke on Jay Leno's Staff - No Pay." It even goes on to make a lame joke about the staff should call him Jay Cheapo.

But somehow, way down in the story, they somehow happen to mention that Leno just gave his staff a bonus of around $500,000 during the strike. And a few years ago he kicked in a bonus of $2 million for good measure. How about we call the writer of that story, Richard Huff, Dick Full-of-Sthuff?

And maybe, just maybe, by Leno paying a bonus instead of their salary, this may be a clever bookkeeping ploy to let the workers collect unemployment and draw a check? What a tool that Richard Huff is.

As I am a regular freelance contributor to Leno, I get paid by the joke. Period. He uses a joke they pay. Simple, right? No. One year, out of nowhere, Leno gave me a Christmas bonus of $500. He will also pay me for jokes that are similar to, but not actually, mine.

Honestly, I can see why some celebrities really hate the press.