Now that’s a miracle
I saw the holiday classic movie “Miracle on 34th street.” last night. You know what the miracle is? That the hero of the movie is a lawyer.
You know what the moral of “Miracle On 34th Street” is? Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to. That and if you want a woman to like you again, buy her and her kid a house.
Holiday gift ideas
Here’s a shopping idea. Office supply company Staples is auctioning staplers designed by, among other stars, Kobe Bryant. Kobe’s stapler is perfect for stapling together those pesky room service and jewelry store receipts.
Did you see the NFL games on Thanksgiving? They all wore throwback uniforms. I’m wearing a 70’s throwback uniform tonight. My suit is made of polyester and I’m wearing High Karate cologne.
Signs that you may have had too much
Did you have a good Thanksgiving? I admit, I over-did it. I ate so much, I was so stuffed, I was so bloated and cranky, I felt like making an anti-Bush documentary.
Director Michael Moore topped the “Frigid 50” list of least intriguing celebrities published by online movie magazine FilmThreat.com. Upon hearing this, Moore was so upset he was going to call his lawyer, just as soon as he could stand up from eating too much pumpkin pie.