Y'ate sand, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?
Yesterday was not a good day if you owned stock in “The George Lopez Show.”
“Jersey Shore’s” Snooki is launching her own perfume. It is called Annoyance from Lo’réal.
TBS cancelled “The George Lopez Show.” The regular viewers were very upset, all ten of them.
Snooki is launching her own perfume. It is available at Bed, Bath and Beyond Skanky.
It is a perfect fragrance balance between the stench of low-self esteem and rancid odor of selfish stupidity.
It’s the perfect gift for the women in your life who wants to smell like the Long John Silver’s dumpster in Trenton, New Jersey.
Snooki is launching her own perfume. It smells just like Snooki: a pumpkin that has had too much Axe body spray rubbed on top of it.
It is not a good sign when you call your stock broker and get a recorded message that says; “Press one for English, press two for Spanish, press three if you own a gun and plan on visiting your stock broker.”
You know what the Wall Street term is for a short stock market rally following a big drop? They call that a dead cat bounce. Don’t confuse that with that thing on Donald Trump’s head, that is a dead weasel flop.
Tiger Woods fired his caddy, Steve Williams, Williams then caddied for Adam Scott who won the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational. For Tiger, that’s like finding out your ex-wife won the Powerball Lottery.
Tiger Woods’s ex-caddy, is writing a tell-all book about caddying for Tiger Woods. Something tells me we’re going to hear a lot of stories about Tiger Woods chasing his putter all around.
In Washington, a 12-year-old boy lived after being underwater for 20 minutes. He was underwater so much his parents changed his name to the US Government.
China is mad at the US for spending the money they lent us recklessly. When did the US turn into China’s irresponsible teenager? What’s next, is China going to ground us?
China then reminded us that money does not grow on trees and to sit up straight and improve our attitude, do you hear me, young man?
Dominoes’ website has a Pizza Tracker where you can follow your pizza’s progress from oven to delivery; how fat, needy and lazy have we become? “Honey, where is the pizza now?” “They’re taking it out of the oven, putting it in a box and, yes, its in the car. Dear lord, we’ll make it.”
Since you asked:
Cannot believe yesterday was the one month anniversary of Kasey’s passing. Poor Wrigley is so sad and lonely. His ears and tail droop. Or he is barking and whining like a maniac to come in. We bring him inside a lot and play and fuss all over him. Not sure which broke my heart more, when Wrigley used to run around looking for Kasey or the morning he didn’t.
And as much as I am nutty in love with dogs . . .
In Pacifica, California, a pregnant woman was killed by her pet pit bull. And cue the self-righteous tirade from pit bull owners saying it is the owners, not the breed. And tell that to the man who lost his wife and his soon-to-be child to a vicious pit bull, aka, their family pet.
If you're a pit bull defender and this offends you? Good.
In 2010, pit bulls and and just one or two rottweilers accounted for 79% of all fatal dog attacks on humans. They represent a mere 7% of the dog population.