Getting’ all kinds of all up in their bidness, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
“People” named Ryan Reynolds as the sexiest man alive. Hey, I made that issue. I am smack in between Seth Rogan and some stuff found in Zach Galifianakis’s beard.
Guess who’s on twitter? Tiger Woods. So, guys, before you get on twitter, make sure you’re wearing a condom.
Tiger’s not on twitter the social networking site, he’s on an Orlando stripper named Twitter.
Former President Bill Clinton shot a cameo appearance for the movie “Hangover 2” while in Thailand. It was a little awkward when former President George W. Bush was told Clinton shot a cameo in Thailand; “Is it cameo hunting season already?”
Beatles songs are now available on iTunes. For young people who might not know, the Beatles were a group of the most talented singers and songwriters who ever lived. And Ringo Starr was their drummer.
Facebook will have an e-mail application. So those hundreds of alleged friends who were notified it was your birthday, but didn’t bother to click a response? Now you can send them an e-mail they won’t want.
A study reveals teenagers with ADHD are more likely to get in automobile accidents. This study was brought to you by the people who make painfully obvious and stupid studies.
An Alabama man accused of sexually assaulting a horse hired an attorney named Cowboy Bob. Well, that’s smart, everybody knows cowboys don’t have sex with their horses, they call it: making love.
“People” named Ryan Reynolds sexiest man alive. Reynolds is no better than any of us guys. Sure, he has washboard abs, ok, he is handsome, yes, he has amazing hair, sure, he is a very famous rich and talented actor married to Scarlett Johanson. Where was I going with this and why am I suddenly so depressed?
No worries, guys, I have it on good inside Hollywood gossip that Reynolds, although a nice guy, is well, you know, he’s Canadian.
In sad news, NBA star Tony Parker is splitting up with his wife, Eva Longoria. They announced it on ESPN on an hour long show called The Division.
Construction began this week on the George W. Bush Presidential Library. In his own words, Bush said this Library will be right bookliefied.
Since you asked:
One of the most hilarious and interesting things about reading about the Rolling Stones is that all of them are far more like polite proper English gentleman than I ever would have believed. But especially the drummer, Charlie Watts.
Whatever my pre-conceptions of the personality and life of the drummer of the nastiest, raunchiest, rockingest, hardest partying rock band in history would be like, Charlie Watts is the opposite.
Polite, correct, dapper and a devoted father and husband. As much as I love them, there is not one Keith Moon nor Jon Bonham – rest in peace – bone is Charlie’s body. He doesn’t even like rock and roll, he is a devoted eclectic jazz aficionado.
Quirky to the point of lovably nuts, Charlie has never had a driver’s license and is an expert collector of just about anything you can think of that is classy and expensive: oriental rugs, antique cars, art, furniture. One almost gets the sense the only reason Charlie stayed with the Stones is to feed his collection addiction.
That’s right, the drummer of the greatest rock and roll band cannot stand rock music. He can’t stand being a rock star. He probably only does it because he is too polite and nice to quit. He doesn’t drink much and doesn’t cheat on his wife-for-life and, except for a brief addiction to pain killers to put up with the road, Keith and Mick in the eighties, he didn’t do drugs.
What is easy to overlook is all of the Stones are very much children of England in post WWII. All knew the value and importance and appreciation of having good tea or rationed meat or decent shoes. Mick Jagger to this day cannot get over the fact he can have and eat as much fresh fruit as he wants.
Has there ever been a recipe in the food section of a newspaper that didn’t completely suck? It’s always something trying to be exotic like acorn, radish and lug nut soup. And you have to get the ingredients in your local Djibouti market. Oh, you don’t have a local Djibouti market? Well any Horn-of-Africa store will do.
Bite me you pretentious local food dork.
God forbid they have a ripping-good chili or meatloaf or meatball recipe. What Wolfgang Puck has taught is even simple foods, like pizza, can be made amazing and exotic with great ingredients.
"Sports Illustrated" has ranked my beloved alma mater's men's basketball team, UCSB, 54th in the country. So suck on that, Lipscomb and Quinnipiac.