And on Earth
A truck spilled 18 tons of peas on a busy highway in England, bringing traffic to a standstill for more than 12 hours. Too bad this couldn’t have happened in Palestine or Israel, then we might finally have peas in the Middle East.
The Segway scooter is popping up all over the U.S. I’m not buying one until they can make it turn into a Corvette when a hot woman walks by.
Contained at least for ten to twenty
Sales of the new line of Martha Stewart furniture have been doing very well; What ESPN’s Dan Patrick said of Michael Jordan is now true for Martha Stewart: You can’t stop her, you can only hope to contain her.
Those crafty wicked scientists . . .
In a surprise, the AMA announced it has approved of cloning for research purposes. Now it turns out that statement was given by the clone of a member of the AMA created by an evil scientist.
Grass growing on the Nature Channel beat it
The final ratings for the NBA Finals between San Antonio and New Jersey were the lowest ever, down almost thirty percent from last year between the Nets and the L.A. Lakers. Apparently, viewers just don’t appreciate defense oriented, strategic basketball, otherwise known as pure boredom.
Where was that guy who says “Dynooomiiite?”
The New Jersey Devils celebration in their arena’s parking lot was hosted by Joe Piscopo. Joe Piscopo? Was Kim Fields, Tootie from “Facts of Life,” already booked?
Due to Piscopo’s appearance at the Devil celebration, sadly, somewhere in New Jersey, a Bar Mitzvah is missing Joe Piscopo’s imitation of Frank Sinatra singing “Hava Nagila.”
Heh, heh, he said head
The new "Harry Potter” book is coming out this week. You know the big shocker? It turns out Hogwart Deputy Headmistress Professor Maconogal also once had an affair with Bill Clinton. Let’s just say they didn’t call her deputy headmistress for nothing.