In sad news, Shaquille O’Neal is getting divorced after five years of marriage. The truth is that Shaq tried to throw his marriage away before, but he missed.
What are the odds?
In New Jersey, 11 public officials were arrested for taking bribes in a massive FBI corruption sting. Whoever heard of bribes and corruption in New Jersey? They’re as rare as gold chains, sweat suits and guys named Tony.
What is with that place?
In Mississippi, a Taco Bell had to close because workers saw a snake in the restaurant; witnesses say the snake was so big and frightening, it almost scared the rats half to death.
In Mississippi – the state with the highest obesity rate, 30%, a Taco Bell had to close because they found a snake in it. Yeah, it reopened after one of the customers saw the snake and ate it.
Oh, snap, no I di . . .nt.
“Newsweek” says men’s bathroom toe-tapper Larry Craig's arresting officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia, has a picture of himself with Dick Cheney on his desk. Apparently this cop has a thing for top elected officials who like to blast guys in the face.
Would hate to see that
The World Wrestling Entertainment suspended 11 “performers” for steroid use. One can only hope that this scandal doesn’t hurt the credibility of a fake and rigged pre-planned over-hyped theatrical performance.
How hot is it?
It is so hot I got hit on by an old gay republican senator in an airport bathroom just for the creepy chill it gave me.
Oh, snap, yes I di . . .d
Paris Hilton told an interviewer she wants to have a baby next year so she is preparing her body.
Here’s my question: what more can Paris do? She’s already having sex with every guy on earth.
Is she going to install a ramp with a revolving door to her vagina?
Lex, Lex, Lex, tsk, tsk, tsk
Paris Hilton told an interviewer she wants to have a baby next year so she is preparing her body. Not to be crude, but I think Paris has pretty much already prepared her body to have a baby. At this point the baby should be able to dance out doing the “Shuffle Off to Buffalo.”
Cubbie slight-cough-due-to-cold, catch it
The Chicago Cubs are still a half game in front in the NL Central. The Cubs fans are worried. They haven’t had to delay their bitter disappointment this much for a long time.
Hate to see that, too
In her post-loss US Open interview, Serena Williams was sullen, surly and utterly classless blaming her sound trouncing by #1 Justin Henin on “lucky shots.” You can’t blame Serena for being grumpy. She looks like she’s taken so many steroids, her testicles are starting to shrink.
Last night on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” “Law and Order” actor Fred Thompson announced he is running for President. Who ever heard of something as stupid as an actor announcing he is running for high office on a talk show? Right Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Last night on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” Fred Thompson announced he is running for President. As an actor, Thompson personified the glad-handing, shrewd, scotch-sipping cigar-smoking Washington bureaucrat. In fact, before he even became a senator, Thomson looked so much like a Washington lawmaker, he was given bribes by mistake.