It is hard out here
The good ol’ days
More details emerging from the Mark Foley sex scandal. Did you hear that Foley left during a vote in congress to engage in Internet sex with a teenage boy? Remember the good ol’ days when Republicans only plugged lawyers?
Some public schools now will be serving sushi. The tricky part? Trying to figure out how to put hair in the sushi.
The only thing more disgusting to a teenage boy than high school cafeteria sushi? A back rub from Mark Foley.
Five time golden glove winner outfielder Torii Hunter made an embarrassing missed dive to allow the Oakland A’s to beat the Minnesota Twins 5-2. The criticism has been so tough Hunter announced that he had been molested by a priest and that he was checking into rehab.
Paris Hilton and former beauty queen Shanna Moakler both filed police reports alleging battery after they fought in a night club. Damn, and I had Tara Reid in this week’s “Cat Fight with Paris Hilton” pool.
Ode to Old Guy
Elton John is launching his own fragrance. And what guy doesn’t want to smell like a 60-year-old gay pop singer?
A couple of records
A Japanese man recited pi to 100,000 decimal places from memory setting what he claims to be a new world record. He also set a record for owning the only record that will never, ever, get him a date with a woman.
In Baghdad they have established a nighttime curfew. Oh that should work. “No Akmed, we cannot blow up the hospital tonight, we’ll get busted for breaking the curfew.”
In Baghdad they have established a nighttime curfew. And if the terrorists get caught breaking curfew? They’ll take away their iPod for a month.
The clothes that Jake Gyllenhaal wore when he filmed the gay cowboy movie “Brokeback Mountain” are being auctioned for charity. When asked to comment, Clay Aiken said; “Oh goody, I’ve always wanted to get into his pants.”
The San Diego Padres hope to clinch their first playoff win against the St. Louis Cardinals. And for the sake of their relief pitchers, they hope to win without pulling a congressman Mark Foley: hitting at the bottom of the 16th.