It is hot. I’m sweating like Donald Sterling trying to start an
NBA team in Ferguson, MO.
Burger King is phasing out their new Satisfries, French Fries
that are 25% less calories and fat. Apparently they just weren’t healthy enough
for those nutrition freaks who frequent Burger King.
A group of women in California, are pushing for pole-dancing to
become an Olympic sport. Now women can win an Olympic medal while putting
themselves through medical school.
“Let’s Be Cops” opened pretty well at the box office this
weekend. OK, maybe “Lets Be Cops” didn’t do so well in Ferguson, MO., but
otherwise it did OK.
My Transitional Journey
Many of you may not know about my journey growing up. Yes, I was
born a nerd-boy, but all my life I knew something was different. While my grade
school friends and playmates wanted to hang out in the basement and play board
games, I wanted to go outside and get muddy.
So I began a lifetime transition from a nerd-boy to a man’s man.
Somewhere around 6th grade, I was playing trumpet in the band and my
friends wanted me to try out for the school play. But deep down inside I knew I
wanted to knock over other man’s men on the football field and then date the
cheerleaders. My intense attraction to leggy blondes and brunette girls began
when I was just 13.
The transition was not easy. Toys had to be abandoned and
replaced with sporting goods. My parents, thankfully, were very supportive.
Many friends were lost along the way, especially Jamie, the little dude from down the street,
who, when we played Daniel Boone, always insisted on being one of the women
folk captured by the Cherokees. (Later, I think Jamie made a different journey of his own)
It was at 16 when I made the full transition from nerd-boy to a man’s
man. Now, it seeemed, I was officially a proud member of the non-transgender community. Or,
as we like to call it: the hyper-gender community.
The change wasn’t always easy. Yes, there
were times as a teenager when I lapsed and I caught myself watching “The Sonny
and Cher Show.” Or when I wanted to build a tasteful, yet modest bungalow out
of Legos.
My transition from nerd-boy to man’s man became official my
Freshman year in high school when I went to a track party, drank four Old Style
beers and made-out with Rick Zachery’s buxom date, Judy. Judy, she of the
incredibly soft, brown hair and the easily removed grey cashmere sweater and the strawberry lip-gloss. Ahhh, Judyyyyy.
Anyway . . .
This is not meant to be a joke at the expense of transgenders.
On the contrary. Even making my minor transition from a wimpy nerd-boy to a
jock, or hyper-gender, took guts and courage. The guts and courage it would take to
make a much bigger change is mind-boggling.
Remember, a rising tide lifts all boats. This tides/boats metaphor has no application to what I am saying, I just really like it.
Now that I am a grown-ass family man, I find it easier to make small
transitions back to my inner, well, less of a man’s man. Now I cook with
frenetic enthusiasm that includes being a stickler for presentation. And I can
cry during rom-coms. Truth be told, when I hunker down and cuddle my puppy, Wally, the resultant high-pitched baby-talk that emits could, as my dad used to say, make a buzzard puke.
Not man-manly to say the least.
No, I still can’t dance to save my sorry tuchus, and decorating of any kind is a mystery to me, but
that’s OK. I’m fine with my limitations as a hyper-gender man’s man.
Whatever transitions you want to make, I hope you have the guts to make
them because life is too short not to. A journey, by definition, starts at one place and ends someplace else. Everyone has to take their own journey.
