Friday, April 22, 2011

Elliot Spitzer accuses Donald Trump of exaggerating his wealth. That has to hurt when a guy who got kicked out of politics for hiring whores calls you a liar.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump to cover up something he's embarrassed about. Seriously, does Trump seem like the kind of guy who would say something is bigger than it really is? Oh, right.

Is it just me, or do people who call me from their car with headset for their cell phone sound like two giant cement monsters are going at it in their backseat?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Whatever is wrong wit dat guy ain't a little thing, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 by the NBA for using a gay slur at a referee. When asked to comment, one gay man said; “Oh that hurts coming from a guy whose name sounds like a Japanese steak house for plus-sized women. ”

Dennis Quaid said, by the ‘80’s, cocaine was a big part of every movie. Which does go a long way to explain “Jaws 3-D”.

Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 by the NBA for using a gay slur at a referee. It was bad. Apparently Bryant called the ref a Cleveland Cavalier.

Do we really want Donald Trump as president? You know the first thing Trump is going to do is put his face on Mount Rushmore and change the name to Trump Rushmore.

Actor Dennis Quaid said his biggest mistake was being addicted to cocaine. Quaid said the cocaine made him do crazy and stupid things. Not as crazy and stupid as his brother, Randy, but still crazy and stupid.

Now, see, I would have bet his biggest mistake was making “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.”

ABC cancelled “All My Children” and “One Life to Live.” Are they cancelled? Or are they really in a coma until their identity can be revealed by their secret evil gay twins?

On “Oprah” actress Shirley McClain claims she once had sex with three men in one day. Or as Paris Hilton calls that: speed dating.

So Shirley doesn’t just believe in an afterlife, she believes in a before, during and afterlife.

And that’s not even counting the movie producers she slept with that day. That was for work.

The parents of the toddler who was served a margarita at Applebees are now suing and a spokesperson for Applebees claims there are discrepancies in their story. For example, the kid was served a regular margarita but they ordered the Sponge Bob Square Pants Margarita.

Monday, April 18, 2011

In an interview, Donald Trump said he has a good relationship with "the blacks." The Donald especially has a good relationship with the black who shines the shoes on the feet of the Donald.

And to think folks accuse Donald Trump of being out of touch.

Happy 64th Birthday to Iggy Pop on Thursday. For the love of god, would somebody please buy this man a shirt for his birthday?

And Tony Danza turns 61 on Thursday. You can sing him Happy Birthday or sing that song Elton John wrote for him. You know, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Anyone misinformed enough to think Donald Trump would make a good president because he is so successful in business is just plain wrong.

Trump has filed for bankruptcy four times. More importantly, Trump has been sued by wronged investors countless times. A resort in Mexico went south and Trump just walked away. All the investors said, in a class action lawsuit, he lied to their face, took their money, and when it didn't work, left them holding the bag. The people who got swindled by Trump think of him as no better than Bernie Madoff.

Here is the Trump method of business. He uses his name to attract investors, promises to guarantee a great return and then, if it doesn't work, he walks away. In other words, he lies to them. When a business does work, like "The Apprentice" Trump takes all of the credit. When a business fails - and many more have failed than succeeded - he says he was merely lending it his name and had no financial obligation. Again, he lies.

In short, Donald Trump is a pathological liar on top of being a flaming egomaniac.