Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper - Shallow (A Star Is Born)

This song is what you get when you combine . . .

Warren Zevon-She's too Good for Me

With this song . . .

Roy Orbison - Oh, Pretty Woman (Audio)

And this song.

An Indiana man accidentally shot himself in the genitals when his pistol slipped from his pant's waistband. When a man shoots himself in the genitals, I think we can leave out the word accidentally.









At the NFL Combine, receiver D.K. Metcalf was measured at 6.3, 228 with a minuscule 1.8% body fat. Almost the exact same as Donald Trump during his physical.

Michael Cohen testified Donald Trump is a lying, cheating racist. Yeah, right, Mike, next you’ll try to tell us Trump is bald.





In Tennessee, a food delivery man stuck his scrotum into a customer’s salsa. And you do not want to know what he did to their fish tacos.




The rumor is Patriots owner Robert Kraft will have his prostitution solicitation charges dropped. So this story for Kraft could have two happy endings.





Bryce Harper has signed a 13-year, $330 million deal with the Philadelphia Phillies. The deal includes a lucrative $5,000 bonus for each booed at-bat.





A Tennessee food delivery server was arrested after he dipped his testicles into a poor-tipping customer's salsa. On the bright side, he was offered a lifetime job at Chipotle.





In the least shocking story in a while, Donald Trump accused Michael Cohen of being a liar. Which is like a Kardashian accusing someone of being a publicity whore.





After siding with Kim Jong Un on the murder or Otto Warmbier, Trump's negotiations with North Korea ended abruptly. I've had better talks with my neighbor's yappy Shitzu.







Bryce Harper has signed a $330 million deal with the Philadelphia Phillies. When asked, with that kind of money, he may buy the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, Harper replied,


“That’s a clown question, bro.” 

Warren Zevon-She's too Good for Me

Anyone else notice a striking similarity between "Shallow" and "She's Too Good for Me," especially with the acoustic guitar melody? 

Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper - Shallow (A Star Is Born)

A Tennessee food delivery server was arrested for dipping his testicles into the salsa of a poor-tipping customer.

“That is shocking. Never have I done anything like that,” lied all waiters and food servers.




Michael Cohen's brother must be the creative one because Michael seems too dull to make such great movies as "The Big Lebowski" and "Raising Arizona." 





A Tennessee food delivery server was arrested after he dipped his testicles into a poor-tipping customer's salsa. Say what you want about the guy, but that took a lot of balls.




Broncos Adam "Pacman" Jones was arrested for cheating at an Indiana casino. This will add to Pacman's 30 strikes-and-your-out deal with the NFL.




A Tennessee man has been charged with a felony after he reportedly dipped his testicles into a customer’s salsa during a delivery. The customer suspected a problem when the salsa had a surprisingly nutty flavor.




A Tennessee man has been charged with a felony after he reportedly dipped his testicles into a customer’s salsa during a delivery. The only good news is the salsa was still healthier than Chipotle's.




How come nobody asked Michael Cohen the one thing I want to know? In "The Big Lebowski," does the Dude really abide?



Full Interview: Lady Gaga Talks To Stephen Colbert

The Oscars had good moments, although I thought it was tacky how they snuck the pictures of Robert Kraft, Louis CK, R. Kelly, Bill Cosby, and Harvey Weinstein into the "In-Memoriam," tribute.


Many at the Oscars were not happy "Green Book" won best picture. Personally, I think it was shameful how they snubbed Amy Schumer's "I Feel Pretty."




Lady Gaga wore a beautiful black Alexander McQueen gown at the Oscars. Her meat dress was at the butchers's. 

"And the Oscar for the best actor playing an actor giving an award to an actor who played another actor goes to . . . "