We lookin’ fly, dog, Torn Slatterns and Nugget RanchersGo figure
The cover article in “Newsweek” states exercise can decrease attention deficit disorder. Or something like that, I couldn’t seem to finish reading the article.Not good
A woman trying to cross the Gaza/Egyptian border was detained when they discovered she had three crocodiles taped to her body. It’s pretty bad when finding man-eating reptiles taped to someone is really good news.So sad
The last building of the first legal brothel in Nevada, the Mustang Ranch, went up in flames this weekend. In a solemn gesture of mourning, Charlie Sheen wore his pants at half mast.That too
We are down from 65 to the final four. But enough about who might be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, the NCAA Tournament is also winding down.Why did they cut that out?
A new biography on Ingrid Bergman revealed there were going to be two endings to “Casablanca.” There is the ending in the movie and another ending that was left out where Ingrid drives to Florida wearing a diaper.Not nice at all
Georgetown beat North Carolina in overtime 94-86. With a ten point lead with six minutes left, North Carolina went 1 for 23. In fact, the only thing that choked worse than the Tarheels was the strangled Pakistani Cricket coach.What are the odds?
The autopsy report is back and Anna Nicole Smith died of an accidental drug overdose. In other equally shocking news somebody in Palestine got angry and threw a rock.Not good either
Georgetown beat North Carolina in overtime 94-86. With a ten point lead with six minutes left, North Carolina then went 1 for 23. Dick Cheney shot better than that.Not for those reasons
Britain has demanded the release of the 15 British sailors captured by Iran. There is no explanation why Iran captured the British but we can rule out they were nabbed for cooking and dental tips.“Dancing with the P.R.’s”
Heather Mills is on a public relations blitz including “Dancing with the Stars” to counteract her bad press from her ugly divorce with Paul McCartney. She decided her image needed a leg up.Not nice
On CBS “Sixty Minutes” a reformed terrorist reveals the biggest reason young Muslim men become terrorists is their objection to their arranged marriage. That will hurt a poor girl’s feelings;.
“Hey, where is that guy I’m supposed to marry?”
“Oh, he blew himself up instead.”Since you asked:
No kidding, I am looking for an answer here. Now, if you read this blog – and sorry about that if you do - you know I am four-square against those public-rude-captive-audience-cell-phone-yammerers. A couple of times, when confronted with the PRCACPY’s, (pronounced: prick-ah-cap-E) I have worked up the gumption to employ David Letterman’s advice and talk to them as if they are talking to me.
“No, I don’t know if we should have Chinese or Pizza tonight. No, I did not record “American Idol. Yes, I think Sinjay sucks. Yes, that Simon is snotty but he is usually right.”
What is hysterical, the few times I have done this, is how rude the PRCACPY’s think you are being because you are now doing to them exactly what they are doing to you only now it is bothering them. And only if something affects them does it ever really matter.
Here is my question: has anyone, anywhere ever been forced to hear a rude loud cell phone conversation that was worth listening to? No. You never hear:
“OK, sew up the aorta and start the Morphine drip. I’ll be there soon. Sorry I was late for the open heart surgery, I was busy putting out a fire at an orphanage. Yes, I did save all the puppies.”
No, this is what you hear from the PRCACPY’s :
“What are you doing? Nothing? Me? Nothing. Do you want to do something? I don’t know. Nah. We did that. Huh? No. Me neither. OK, later.”
Again, I am not against cell phones, just rude use of cell phones. Go outside. You shouldn't want us to hear your conversation as much as we don't want to have to hear it.
Remember, only you can prevent PRCACPY’s.
(Polite applause crescendo'ing to a boisterous ovation)