The latest trend in Thailand is penis bleaching. The three shades of penis bleaching available, from darkest to lightest is the Justin Bieber, the Eric Trump, and then the whitest of all: the Mike Pence.

Any whiter than the Mike Pence and then it is called either the Invisible or the Vagina. 

My favorite part of Valentine’s Day is when Martha Stewart shows us how she used a shiv to make heart-shaped cuts in prison snitches.

A second “Charles in Charge” star, Alexander Polinski, is charging Scott Baio with sexual abuse. “This is huge news,” said the year 1990. 

In South Africa, lions killed a poacher eating everything but his head. And the craziest part? The lions took a picture with the head and sent it to Eric and Donald Trump Jr.

There is an axe-throwing bar in Boston. Personally, I don’t think people should be boozing while throwing a heavy sharp blade attached to a handle, but that is not my axe to grind.

  

There is an axe-throwing bar in Boston. For a great time, go to the axe-throwing bar on Whisky and Machine Gun Night. 

At the Olympics, a Frenchman, Martin Fourcade, won the Biathlon Pursuit. Who would have guessed a guy from France would be so good at shooting and then getting away quickly?

A lawsuit claims Harvey Weinstein made assistants administer erectile dysfunction injections. The assistants felt mislead when Weinstein told them he would give them a raise.




Since you asked:

It is going to be easy to spot the good guys from the bad guys from now on, especially politicians. They're either for getting rid of AR 15's, or they're not. It is that simple. 

In South Africa, lions killed a poacher eating everything but his head.  This is known as a reverse Monica Lewinski.   



In South Africa, lions killed a poacher eating everything but his head. The lions are going to mount the head as soon as they finish building their fireplace.




There is an axe-throwing bar in Boston. Guys, whatever you do, do not go there on Free Circumcision Night.  





A lawsuit claims Harvey Weinstein’s made his assistants inject him with erectile dysfunction drugs. If he is not careful, this whole thing could get embarrassing for Harvey.




At the Olympics, US’s Chris Mazdzer won the silver medal for the Luge. That was the greatest performance by an American on their back since Hope Hicks got her job at the White House.




Producer, Quincy Jones claims Marlon Brando and Richard Pryor had an affair. And that is this week’s story in, “Everything I Thought About Hollywood Was a Lie.”




There is an axe-throwing bar in Boston. Drinking and axe-throwing. What could go wrong. Sounds like as good a combination as diarrhea and sneezing.




The Spice Girls are not having a reunion. They did not want the audience to see Baby Spice having hot-flashes on stage.





A lawsuit claims Harvey Weinstein made his assistants inject him with erectile dysfunction drugs. In other words, Weinstein had all of these sexual assaults while he was impotent. How did this guy have time to make a single movie?


Since you asked:

My visceral hatred of Donald Trump is not political. If you took the two most egotistical, stupid, sadistic, fat, ugly, lying assholes I've known, both with bad combovers, Aldo Pagano and Bob Felderman, and mushed them together in one lumpy, orange, smug douchebag, it would be Donald Trump.