Early California polls indicate Arnold Schwarzenegger would win in a landslide against his gubernatorial opponent Phil Angelides. Another poll reveals that many California voters would love to hear Arnold try and pronounce: gubernatorial opponent Phil Angelides.
Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, refused to attend a U.N. dinner because alcohol was being sewed. That is also the only reason Ted Kennedy did attend.
Who would have guessed?
A postal worker in Ohio was sentenced to six months in jail for urinating in his co-workers coffee. How ironic was it that the coffee was Folgers? Good to the last drop.
Not since then
Last night, the New York Yankees celebrated clinching their division after a Boston Red Sox loss. It is the first victory to result because of a loss since President Bush was elected.
Doctors in China performed the first penis transplant. I believe the medical term for this procedure is called an add-a-dick-to-me.
Not since then
Doctors in China performed the first penis transplant only to have to remove it at the patient’s request. It is the most dramatic example of a penis rejection since Star Jones’s honeymoon
Special effects added
In a speech to the U.N., Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President Bush El Diablo, Spanish for the Devil. Asked to reply, President Bush said; “El Diablo? Heck, I kinda like the sound of that. Call me El Diablo and then play that bad-ass Clint Eastwood music”
How old is he?
The Atlanta Falcons signed 46-year-old Morten Anderson, the oldest man in the NFL. Anderson is so old when he was a rookie, the end zone dance was the Charleston. He’s old, I tell ya.
A sure sign
The American al Qaeda fighter seen on video, Adam Gadahn, is from Orange County, CA. You know how you can tell if your boy is secretly be an Islamic radical? The only thing he wants for Christmas? A Jihad Joe doll.
For his birthday he asks to go to dinner at Thank Allah Its Friday and his teddy bear is wearing a turban.
Suddenly an over-acheiver
The American al Qaeda fighter seen on video, Adam Gadahn, is from Orange County, CA.
Parents, you think your kid is disappointing? Compared to being a terrorist, dropping out of
Junior college to play drums for a Ska band suddenly doesn’t sound so bad.