The San Francisco 49ers announced that they would move from their home at Candlestick Park in San Francisco to Santa Clara, California by 2012. So in 2012, there will be no professional football team in San Francisco. Just like now.
There are reports of glitches in the computer voting machines; for example, three congressional seats were won by porn star Jenna Jamison.
Not that I know of
Research in England have plans to combine human cells and cow cells. Is there a White House intern shortage we don’t know about?
Research in England have plans to combine human cells and cow cells. It’s called Project Rosie O’Donnell.
Actor Neil Patrick Harris came out of the closet; this explains why Doogie Howser M.D. did that turn-your-head-and-cough test so darn much.
Reportedly Britney Spears dumped Kevin Federline by text message. It was awkward, K-Fed had to ask the stripper on his lap to explain the big words.
Some things haven’t changed
After the elections, congress is now controlled by the Democrats. But the congressional pages are still controlled by the Republicans.
There is a male celebrity impersonator named Eddie Edwards who specializes in Cher and Barbra Streisand. A guy impersonating Cher and Barbra Steisand? That’s even too gay for pastor Ted Haggert.
There were signs that Evangelist leader Ted Haggert was gay. Like when the Village People replaced the Indian with a Pastor.
Hate to see that
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld resigned; that’s too bad, just when he was doing such a good job.
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld resigned; Rumsfeld said he wants to spend more time instigating conflict within his family.
Rumsfeld didn’t actually resign. President Bush lined up his cabinet and said; “Everyone who works here take a step forward. Rummy, not so fast.”
The last game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Oakland Raiders was the lowest rated “Monday Night Football” game ever. The ratings were so low they almost aired it on NBC.
Food fight, pass the Freedom fries
The democrats won control of congress. You thought Republicans got in trouble before? Now that there are so many lame duck republicans, the capital is going to look like a frat house after it’s exiled from campus: toga parties, naked limbo dances, strip poker games, beer bongs.
Since you asked:
Not to over-sell it, but the movie “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” is so funny the theaters showing it are passing out free pairs of Depends.