At a rally in Florida, Barack Obama was booed by a group titled “Blacks Against Obama.” That group is only a little bigger than Whites For Jesse Jackson.
New York city strippers say they are losing money due to the troubles on Wall Street. You know what this means? A shortage in the future of neurosurgeons named Tiffany and Amber.
Britney Spears mother, Lynn, has written a book on parenting. And I’m going to read it as soon as I am done with “The Donald Trump Book on Hairstyling.”
Clay Aiken has announced he is gay. That means hey Ryan Seacrest, you’re the last one, so don’t forget to turn out the light when you come out of the closet.
Clay Aiken has announced he is gay. Next thing you know Rueben Stoddard will announce he is plus-sized.
Cuba says Russia is going to help them develop a space program. In honor of Castro, this will be the first space ship ignited with a cigar.
A documentary on 81-year-old Fidel Castro claims Fidel slept with 35,000 women. Really? 35,000? I can’t keep an accurate score when I go bowling.
Fidel slept with 35,000 women. How did he even find time to light his cigars?
I’m sure it has nothing to do with his being president of a country, we all know women love guys who wear goofy green caps, smoke stinky cigars and have a straggly beard.
Paris Hilton is teaming with Ryan Seacrest to write a scripted TV show. It will be based on their real lives. The working title is “The Skanker and the Wanker.”
Chick, chick, chick flick
The Richard Gere, Diane Lane movie “Nights in Rodanthe” opens this weekend. “Nights in Rodanthe” is for those movie lovers who can’t handle all the macho violence and potty humor of “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.”
That's about right
David Blaine announced he is going to hang upside down for sixty hours in Central Park. In far more relevant and important news, today my dog, Wrigley, licked his butt.
And, in a related story, George Michael announced he is going to hang upside down for sixty hours in a Central Park men’s room.
The mornin' country show
You know what would have made a great ticket? Ex-Russian President Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin. Putin and Palin. It sounds like the worst country radio morning show ever. “Howdy, I’m Putin. “And I’m Palin.” "Together were Putin and Palin your mornin’ away. Nee Haw!”
Uh, no sir, that's not, oh forget it
“The Mentalist” debuts this week on CBS. There was an awkward moment when President Bush heard about “The Mentalist” and said; “The P.C. term is mentalistly challenged.”
Since you asked:
It was the 30th anniversary of the tragic PSA Flight 182 crash here in San Diego yesterday. For whatever reason this has knocked me sideways. It feels so eerie. The weather is just like it was that day. The light of the sky is the same. And at 9:02. A.M.135 souls perished. Just an hour before that they had been reading “USA Today’s” and drinking bad McDonalds coffee and hearing endless announcements overhead in the L.A. terminal trying not to think about the ever-worsening economy. They walked down the gate tunnel into the sudden quiet of the plane smelling the distant diesel fumes and the smell of the cabin which is a combination airplane seat smell and air conditioning system. They had time for one soft drink and peanuts.
Just like you and I have done a thousand of times.
This may sound creepy, but I Google’d PSA 182, read the story and discovered where the crash site was and then looked at it on Google earth. Is that morbid? Maybe, but it was done with a feeling of great respect and sympathy and empathy. If you want to see it is an unremarkable street of tract homes near the 805 freeway in North Park. The crash site was on Boundary between Dwight and Evan. They have a plaque there where they planted a tree in memory of the victims.
Could it really have been thirty years ago? I was starting out at my beloved UCSB. I had already joined my fraternity, Sigma Chi. It was right about then that I figured that I needed to switch my major from English to communications studies with a minor in English primarily because English was too much work and all the hot sorority women were majoring in communications. I was working out at the track every day for the Decathlon even though I was red-shirting as a transfer and couldn’t compete.
At the time I remember thinking it was weird that I didn't have much of any concept of what San Diego was. All I know were the Chargers had Dan Fouts at quarterback and it was next to Mexico. My parents and I had visited the SDSU campus and got a tour from the track coach three years prior.
If I have to say it, I'll say it: life is short.