Saturday, December 01, 2007

Saturday Caffeine Fueled Rant

Something tells me folks are getting sick of all the Presidential debates. The next Republican Debate is titled: “The Candidates Square off on Campaign Reform and Non-Partisan . . . oh, who gives a crap?”

You know those great American Express print ads, like the one that features Tina Fey under her cluttered desk while her daughter, Alice, sits pecking at the laptop? Or Ellen DeGeneres playing poker at the kitchen table in her Pajamas with her dog?

If A.E. ever have me do one, right after pigs become airborne, I would be sitting on the oriental rug with my back against the couch, watching a DVR’d Hi Def recording of Jay/Dave/Conan and taking notes on a yellow legal pad while sipping a big ol’ vat o’ red wine and tossing pistachio nuts – or popcorn – to my two Labradors, Wrigley and Kasey, seated on either side of me.

That is the closest I get to a King Henry moment of tossing a lamb shank to his roving hunting dogs while guzzling wine out of a gold, bejeweled goblet.

The American Express adjecent survey's question about the perfect day?

Before dawn, stand Up paddleboarding as the sun comes up until exhaustion or one hour, whichever comes first. Usually exhaustion.

Drive home and hear my sports jokes on the morning drive show

Drop A.C. off at school, write jokes until noon

Thirty Minute coma-like nap

Write more jokes until brain fried and then head to store for stuff to barbeque for friends coming over for dinner. Stop for a tasty Margarita on the way home.

Grill steaks while listening to Lex's iPod Grilling Special Playlist on the outdoor speakers and watching hot air balloons in the near distance in the gloaming.

Eat dinner with Virg, AC and friends and then play poker with friends. Win.

(The Friday or Saturday night version of this would replace the grilling/dinner/poker with playing harmonica with my band at a good dive bar)

Watch good movie on home entertainment center while sipping wine and feeding the two beasts snacks.



It's not the VIP room with drunk supermodels but it is nice