Sir Walter, the Earl of Ewoks, "Taco Night Wally, " Wally the P., Walter Payton Kaseberg his own self on the ride home from the breeder. He has taken over the house in less than one day. 

The singer Meat Loaf has endorsed Mitt Romney; which is great, but I am still going to wait and see what Weird Al Yankovic thinks.

The most expensive coffee in the world is from Tibet and is harvested out of elephant dung. It is so good you never forget it.

A New York court has ruled that lap dancing is not an art. Well, clearly they haven’t had a lap dance by a medical student I know named Chartrisa, she is an artist. Ahem, um, or so I’ve heard.

When they asked him why he had never tried surfing before, he said he was stumped . . . it is just a joke, folks, relax.

They stripped Lance Armstrong of his titles and now his sponsors are suing to get their money back. You know it is bad when a guy is glad he only has one testicle they can take away.


Since you asked:

This is not political, but who the eff does that annoying gas-bag Donald Trump think he is? This guy is a pathological liar and a thief.

He put his name on a golf course and luxury casino project in Mexico and promised the investors he would stand by the project. When it became obvious that rampant crime in Mexico was killing the project, Trump just walked away, lying that he was just paid to lend his name, he had no attachment to the investors. 

He has done this numerous times.  

Saw Trump lie to a dumbfounded Conan O'Brien's face. He was asked to come on "Conan" and explain some dust up, probably with Rosie O'Donnell. He then denied this to Conan's face, who was so flustered he looked like he would pass out, and then Trump proceeded to whore up one of his shows or promotions. 

Why does this monumental douche-bag still get air time? We need to Paris Hilton this guy's fat, wrinkled orange-painted ass. 

You ate sand

The candidates are really courting the female vote; today Mitt Romney said his policy positions are called; "50 Shades of Grey Area."

I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski

While it is all well and good to give catchy nicknames to World Series match-ups - the Dodgers/Angels were the Freeway Series, the Mets-Yankees were the Subway Series - we here at a.L.b.b. refuse, repeat, refuse to dub the Tigers/Giants: The Urban Blight, Loafers Light Series.

That is all.

.

Most recent picture of Wally from the breeder. Oh . . . my . . . goodness

Boom shackalacka boom shackalacka boom, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Actress Uma Thurmon named her new baby girl Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altune Florence Thurmon-Busson. Why not just name the kid: Beat My Child On the First Day of School?

This marks the first time a newborn baby was immediately placed on the no-fly list. 

That kid should be shopping for a good therapist by second grade.

A San Diego radio sportscaster described the upcoming San Francisco Giants-Detroit Tigers World Series as an East Coast, West Coast Series. And they say we Americans don’t know our geography.

And yet we wonder why our country produces shows like “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”

The Florida Marlins fired their manager, Ozzie Guillen. Asked to comment, Guillen said he enjoyed managing the Marlins and he has no hard feelings. That or he said; Entry massaging the marbles and he has no hand peelings.

Since you asked:

Watching the US Women V. Germany. Like I said with Clay Cubed, Clay the Trey, Clay “So nice they named him thrice” Mathews, Alex Morgan is sports marketing gold. If I was an exec at Nike – when I wasn’t busy being a world class nob – I would be thrusting weapons-grade lumber at her sales potential.

Great athlete, pretty, pretty girl, funny, smart, sexy raspy voice, beautiful hair. Real world beauty. As in the kind of beauty you could actually find in the real world. Unlike the younger Angelina Jolie.

Clothes, make-up, shampoo, shoes, toothpaste, modeling, her potential is unlimited. Plus she is one of the best soccer players alive. Booo shang. 

Material Girl
Just saw the Billy Eichner/Madonna clip on "Conan." Understanding the Billy is bringing the mischief with his loud and rude schtick, he manages to get backstage at Yankee Stadium for Madge's rehearsal and totally interrupts her. 

At first she is, understandably, cranky and more than a little scary. (Ran in back of her in Central Park and her-then hubby, Sean Penn. Both are small, she is tiny and he seems like a true dick. Ran behind them for about a quarter of a mile, but they were too slow, so I passed them. Did not say a word) 

Granted she wasn't performing, but they both were wildly unimpressive, especially him. Nothing like that "Holy crap" feeling I got when I met Robert Plant, or James Taylor, or Mark Messier, or Ernie Banks, or even Jimmy Carter. 

But nobody said Madonna wasn't savvy. She saw a potential bad publicity stunt in the making - Billy is gay and in his thirties, her audience wheelhouse -  and she really turned it around. Was charming and more than a little funny. 

It kills me to say it, but I may no longer hate Madonna. What with Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton and Honey Boo Boo's mom, there is only so much hate to go around...