One thing at a damn time
Following the outrage over slow aid to victims of hurricane Katrina, President Bush has repeatedly said he will not play the Blame Game. In fact, Bush won’t play the Blame Game until he figures out how to play Candyland and Junior Monopoly.
Now what will we do?
FEMA president Mike Brown was relieved of his duties at hurricane Katrina. That’s too bad, now who is going to help save all those needy Arabian stallions?
“Time” magazine claims there are serious discrepancies in FEMA head Mike Brown’s resume. It turns out Brown wasn’t actually, as he claimed, a hit man for TV Evangelist Pat Robertson.
“Time” magazine claims there are serious discrepancies in FEMA head Mike Brown’s resume. Brown claims he had experience dealing with disasters, turns out he just meant he was a Los Angeles Dodgers fan.
How nice of Lance
Cycling’s governing body says there is no evidence of doping charges in Lance Armstrong’s old urine samples, despite claims otherwise by the French. Lance Armstrong said he would be happy to provide the French with fresh urine samples if they would hand him their berets.
Putting the “oh” in Ohio
At a high school in Canton, OH, 13% of the girls are pregnant; and that’s not even counting the female teachers.
FEMA was supposed to arrive at Canton with condoms but they never made it.
At that high school the students teach sex education to the faculty.
There is still hope
A study reveals that the human brain may still be evolving; so don’t give up on President Bush quite yet.
This week the Mexican Navy sent a ship to Louisiana loaded with aid for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Unfortunately the cargo contained ten cases of Chicklets and 375 illegal aliens.
This week the Mexican Navy sent a ship to Louisiana loaded with aid for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Although Mexico was well-meaning, we had to tell them that the biggest problem in New Orleans right now is not lawn care.
How does that work?
Ben Affleck was kind enough to sign the “Tonight Show” bike last night. After Ben signed it, the value of the motorcycle went up, but for some reason, its box office revenues plummeted.
Just a thought;
F.Y.I., people who still use F.Y.I. can go F.U.*.K. themselves.
Lex on vegetarians
Do what you want, but if you ask me, we didn’t fight our way to the top of the food chain so we could eat Tofurkey on Thanksgiving.
Reader mail time. Thoughts, comments or jokes I can steal?