‘Tis the season they best not get in my biz, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Kids in Los Angeles are so jaded. I was trying to explain to a neighbor’s son about the whole Virgin Mary, baby Jesus thing, and he said; “So Joseph lied about getting a vasectomy.”
I had a terrible experience last night. You know I flew last weekend? Late last night, I got a drunk- dial from my airport TSA agent asking for a booty call.
I tell ya, holiday shopping is rough, yesterday I went to a Macys department store and, before I could get on the elevator, I was groped by a TSA agent.
The Golden Globe nominations are out, “Black Swan” and “Burlesque” were nominated. And that’s just in the category of Gay Movies Starting with B.
The Golden Globe nominations are out, “Black Swan” and “Burlesque” were nominated. Some critics believe that “Black Swan” and “Burlesque: may be the greatest gay movies starting in B since “Brokeback Mountain.”
Did you know “Black Swan” was filmed on a tight budget? “Black Swan” was so low-budget they couldn’t afford to call it “African American Swan.”
Convicted dog-fighter QB Michael Vick told “TheGrio.com” he hopes the courts will allow him to own a dog soon. Tell that to Fido the next time he chews your slippers.
In Florida, a high school basketball player attacked a referee. The bad news is the player is suspended. The good news is that anyone with judgment that bad on a basketball court has a future as an L.A. Clipper.
Can you believe the bad weather across the country? Hey, we’re feeling it in California too. Last night, it got so cold, I had to turn my ceiling fan off.
People are still talking about the weepy John Boehner interview on “Sixty Minutes.” At one point, Boehner is crying so hard, you can see the orange spray tan stains on his shirt collar.
The FBI is offering $20,000 reward for information that captures the San Diego “Geezer Bandit.” The Geezer bandit is an old man who has robbed 12 banks. The FBI only has one condition: folks, please stop turning in Larry King. It’s not funny anymore.
Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg is Time’s Man of the Year. I got snubbed again. I was somewhere between Charlie Sheen’s life coach and the guy who spray tans John Boehner.
Ukraine is opening the nuclear-meltdown plant, Chernobyl, as a tourist attraction. The locals are excited, they exchanged high-sixes.
Denise Richards, Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife, is dating Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx, a former heroin addict who’s been married to two “Playboy” models. Gosh, what could go wrong there?
Since you asked:
So they called them gypsies, tramps and thieves. Big deal. Cher admits at night the men came around and lay their money down. They could have called them gypsies, whores and thieves.