It is hard out here
The thoughtful gift
For Christmas, you can get somebody a McDonalds Christmas gift card. This year give the gift that says; “Here, slappy, I think you’re too damn broke and dumb to buy a Big Mac on your own.”
Good luck, skippy
Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson are getting divorced. For those guys who think they have a shot with the newly single Pamela Anderson, log on to http://www.stop-smoking-crack.com/.
Pill that kills the swimmers
British scientists are working on a male birth control pill. The way the pill works is that the male takes the pill two hours before having sex, so, guys, take it one hour before you start begging.
British scientists are working on a male birth control pill. The pill affects the muscles that control ejaculation, so the result is a dry ejaculation. If Bill Clinton had that pill, he never would have been impeached.
British scientists are working on a male birth control pill. The way the pill works is that the male takes the pill two hours before having sex so that it can work one minute later.
Kevin Federline tried that male contraceptive pill and he didn’t like it. It got stuck and he couldn’t pee for two days.
British scientists are working on a male birth control pill. The pill takes a couple of hours for it to work for just a few minutes. So it’s called the Kevin Federline.
A dry ejaculation? Isn’t that kind of like a tranquil explosion?
But he was OK with that one
Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson are getting divorced because Kid Rock was furious at Pamela’s role in the movie “Borat.” Uh, but he was OK with her performance in her Tommy Lee video?
Not an easy sell
Michael Richards is now defending an earlier anti-Semitic rant by claiming he is Jewish. The problem? He isn’t Jewish. Good thing Richards didn’t try this ploy after his recent rant, he would have a hard time trying to claim he is black.
Snoop Dog was arrested after appearing on “The Tonight Show” and charged with weapon and drug possession. This is Snoop Dog’s third arrest in three months. Snoop could go away for five years. Which is 35 in Snoop Dog years.
A new British study reveals that women talk three times more than men. This also explains why men don’t live as long as women. We don’t want to.
Starting January there will be the first free all gay television station from Key West, W-GAY. It’s different from other TV stations. Instead of “Two and a Half Men” it will have “One Seven and Three Quarters Man.”
It will have “CSI: Skipper’s SoHo Loft.”
Since you asked:
Time-Warner cable? I have three words for you: You are such (adding a fourth) crap.
Time-Warner is blaming the NFL for not playing ball but somehow Cox cable and Direct TV managed to get the NFL channel for their customers. But Time-Warner is OK with leaving their 15 million (of which I am one) in the lurch on Thanksgiving and tonight. What a load.
Bitter is the word I use to describe, all the feelings that I have for you deep inside . . .