(No kidding, if you are offended by "edgier" material, stop now. The good people here at a.l.b.b. must have gotten into the clam dip or something. They’re minds are in the drug store)
Weapons of Mass-turbation
The FBI is recruiting an anti-obscenity task force to fight the war against pornography. I missed something, are we at war against pornography? If so a lot of people around here are in trouble for fraternizing with the enemy.
Something tells me the war against pornography will feature a lot of hand-to-hand combat.
When you declare war against pornography, it’s very important to strike the first blow.
The FBI is recruiting an anti-obscenity task force to fight the war against pornography. That’s just what we need, another war that sucks.
The FBI is recruiting an anti-obscenity task force to fight the war against pornography. Bill Clinton has volunteered to fight the war against pornography. He’s going to specialize in reconnaissance
Knew it sounded familiar
In “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” Martha’s firing catch phrase is “You just don’t fit. Goodbye” Isn't that what Paris Hilton said to the guy at the end of her sex video?
Paris in gear
In Beverly Hills, Paris Hilton was pulled over by police for erratic driving. Police became suspicious when they saw Paris was in her car not having sex with someone.
In Beverly Hills, Paris Hilton was pulled over by police for erratic driving. It was serious, the police pulled their guns and said; “OK, Miss, pull over and get off of the stick shift.”
Fertility researchers in England say they have discovered a way to turn sperm bright green. That’s great news, guys. Now we can say we come in different colors.
English fertility researchers say they’ve discovered a way to turn sperm bright green. In addition, it was discovered that these English fertility researchers have too much time on their hands.
The latest rumor from Washington is that Al Gore wants to challenge Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Presidential nomination. That does depend, however, if Gore can get the time off from his manager at Blockbuster Video.
Which is more damaging, the hurricane or the oil companies?
People wonder if the threat of hurricane Rita will cause oil prices to rise. As far as the oil companies are concerned about gas prices, Rita stands for: Raise It ‘Till Astronomical.
Oil companies are criminally shameless about coming up with lame excuses for raising gas prices. “What? They just discovered over 100 billion barrels worth of crude oil? Do you know how much money it will take to refine that? Sorry, we need to raise gas prices again.”
Martin Scorcese has directed a documentary about Bob Dylan with Bob Dylan doing the narrating. It’s ground breaking because it is the first film to feature subtitles for the subtitles.
The fancy French store Hermes has apologized to Oprah for not staying open for her after hours. It’s the same thing Popeyes Fried Chicken had to do to for Star Jones.
Not all bad
Skinny model Kate Moss has been losing jobs over the pictures of her snorting cocaine. On the bright side she’s been invited to appear on “The Bobby Brown” show.