Oh it so gonna go do
Mean, so mean
It’s that time of year. How many are going to see “The Nutcracker” this year? How many have already heard Hillary Clinton speak?
It’s being predicted that USC running back Reggie Bush will be the overwhelming vote-getter for the Heisman Trophy; this is also the first time the words Bush and overwhelming vote-getter have ever appeared together.
It’s being predicted that USC running back Reggie Bush will be the overwhelming vote-getter for the Heisman Trophy; this makes Reggie the first Bush to be elected who has an exit strategy.
Back in the Bush
Is USC’s Reggie Bush going to win the Heisman trophy? Does Nicole Richey look like a bug in her goofy huge sunglasses? The Heisman vote will be the easiest election any Bush has won without the benefit of going against John Kerry.
Rumor has it the Philadelphia Eagles are interested in getting Reggie Bush but, as they are further back in the NFL draft, it would probably cost them at least two top players to trade for the first draft pick. In other words, for the Eagles, a Bush in hand is worth two of their birds.
In Florida, a Judge did not approve the plea deal that would have kept hot blonde teacher Debra Lafave out of jail for having sex with her high school student. Lafave’s attorney had argued that Lafave was too pretty to go to prison. A move that did not endear her to Martha Stewart.
In Florida, a Judge did not approve the deal that would have kept hot blonde teacher Debra Lafave out of jail for having sex with her high school student. The high school student she had sex with is currently serving his sentence of hearing his buddies endlessly asking; “Dude, tells us about it again.””
Residents of Detroit, are not happy with the choice of the Rolling Stones as the halftime band for their Super Bowl XL; they feel that the halftime show should represent the sounds of Detroit. So apparently they want the show to consist of sirens, broken glass, gunshots and screams.
Hot for teacher
In Florida, a Judge did not approve the plea deal that would have kept teacher Debra Lafave out of jail for having sex with her high school student. Now Lafave faces the possibility of life as a sexy, blue-eyed, beautiful blonde with angry female prisoners who want to punish her for what she did. And to see that, my credit card number is 456-9876-2345, expiration, 10-07.
In Florida, a Judge did not approve the plea deal that would have kept teacher Debra Lafave out of jail for having sex with her high school student. Now Lafave faces the possibility of life as a beautiful, sexy, blue-eyed blonde jailed with angry female prisoners who want to punish her for what she did . . . huh? Oh, sorry, got lost there for a second. What were we talking about?
Many rappers are joining the cause to lift the death sentence of four-time-murderer Randy “Tookie” Williams. I’m just waiting for some rapper to say; “OK, sure, so Tookie’s killed a few people, but, come on, who hasn’t? Oops, uh, did I just say that out loud? Heh, my bad.”
In other words
At his trial in Iraq, Saddam Hussein told the judge to go to hell; or as people in Iraq call hell: a promotion.
While recovering from a concussion, Miami Dolphin QB Gus Frerotte says friends in the NFL call to test his memory asking if Gus remembers he owes them $500. That’s pretty funny. Apropos of nothing, anyone know how I can get Terry Bradshaw’s phone number?
Tom Cruise told “Entertainment Weekly” that he would buck tradition and would see Katie Holmes in her wedding dress before their wedding. Afterwards, Cruise can’t wait to get Katie out of her wedding dress. Tom’s never tried on a wedding dress before.
That should teach her
It’s reported that Britney Spears is so angry at Kevin Federline that she took back his $200,000 Ferrari. Kevin replied he didn’t care, he would open a lemonade stand and make enough money to buy a new Ferrari, so there.
It’s reported that Britney Spears is so angry at Kevin Federline that she took back his $200,000 Ferrari. Well, that’s just great, now how is Kevin supposed to get to that job he doesn’t have?
The Organization of Islamic Conference opened with a call to stop violent Islamic extremism; gosh, fellas, what’s the hurry? These guys make FEMA seem faster than Ninja Warriors.
The staunchly anti-gay-rights mayor of Spokane, Washington, James West, has been recalled after admitting using city computers to pick up gay men on the Internet. They suspected West was cruising gay men on the Internet when he kept downloading iTunes songs from Clay Aiken.
Since you asked:
Most people are capable of understanding that movie stars and or famous people are real people too, but it is hard to generate much sympathy or compassion when we constantly get fed crap by the Hollywood spin doctors. “Oh, no, Jessica and Nick are doing fine.” And, “No, Brad and Angelina are not a couple” And, “Everyone on the set of “Desperate Housewives” loves one another.” And “Michael Moore does not have an extensive goat porn collection.”
Fact is, we love rumors about celebrities, the juicier the better. Is that fair, especially when the rumor isn’t true? Well, no, but the celebrities have nobody to blame but their fellow liars, err, I mean celebrities. As the public, if we don’t like someone we are likely to want to believe nasty rumors, if we do like them, we want to believe the good stuff. I know a perfectly nice and calm friend who almost dove across the dinner table to strangle me when I made a joke about the rumor of her beloved Saint Oprah being testy to her staff.
Strident blonde conservative Ann Coulter is not my thing for the same reason that smelly slob contrarian Michel Moore is not my thing. For both of them, it isn’t about getting an issue right or wrong, or spreading messages they think will help; they are both simply egotistical publicity whores and bullies masquerading as political experts. (Although, if I had to choose, Ann has a better sense of humor and a better sense of style than does Moore, but then, who doesn’t?)
Having said that, Ann Coulter was shouted down by students during her speech at the University of Connecticut. Why? Because many of them hated her and what she was saying. Who hated Ann Coulter and what she was saying? One student in particular, Eric Knudson, was interviewed who hated Ann and her speech. Who was Eric? He was the head of a campus group called “Students Against Hate.”
Death to all fanatics.