Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Are you thinking what I am thinking when you see this? Yep, their paddles are too angled. They have to me more up-and down straighter if they want to stay paddling on a straighter line

Fan throws a hot dog at Tiger Woods while he is putting. If only the wiener had landed in the hole, it would have been the greatest Tiger Woods joke EVER.

The Philadelphia Eagles have lost four in a row. Last week, Michael Vick blamed the referees for the loss. This week? His dog ate his playbook.

Madonna is performing at halftime of the Super Bowl. When told a middle-aged has-been who looks like a scary drag queen would perform, most thought it was Steven Tyler.

So if Madonna is performing at the Super Bowl halftime, not only is the game being played in Indianapolis, apparently it is also being played in 1985.

Now that I think about it, Madonna is the perfect choice for the Super Bowl halftime. What says football more than a cone-bra wearing middle-aged bisexual with a fake English accent?

Lex's Stand Up Paddle Board Surfing Tip of the Day:

When paddling hard for a wave - and you cannot paddle too hard - instead of staying in the regular paddle position with your feet shoulder length and parallel, drop your surfer-stance back foot back just a foot. It is not far enough back to slow the board down, but it puts you in a more ready position to turn once you catch the wave. Once you catch the wave and turn, you can slide the back foot farther back. Or if you're about to miss the wave underneath, you can step forward with your front foot to push the board down the wave. Then put your weight on the back foot to keep from pearling the nose*.

Pearling the Nose is my new surfer rock band.

*Pearling the nose is death. It puts you right where you don't want to be right when you don't want to be there. It stabs the nose of your board underwater, bringing it to dead halt, while the back of your board is being pushed forward by the wave, with you in the middle of everything right in the impact zone. Flop, crash, splash, spin, bang, ouch, what-the-hell? Why?

Manganese. Cinch bugs. That kind of thing.