Friday, October 14, 2011

The right-thinking person's favorite Beatle

For reals here’s the deals, McSqueals, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

( "I didn't get a harumph out of that guy. You watch your ass.)

BlackBerry is experiencing outages all over North America. It is so sad, today I saw a guy driving trying to Google on his garage door opener.

Mexico is bracing for Hurricane Jova. However, after hearing about the rampant drug violence in Mexico, Hurricane Jova decided to turn back and vacation in Hawaii instead.

Ozzie Osbourne is going to be a grandfather again. When asked to comment, Ozzie said; “I’m proud of my son, Jack and his fiancé, Lisa.” That or he said; “Umba rowdy mice on shack anise fancily easy.”

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day, it took me a day to get the courage, but, wow, here I go: I would like to announce that Michelle Bachman’s husband, Marcus, is gay. Phew.

Hank Williams Jr. song “Are You Ready for Some Football” was dropped as the “MNF” theme after Williams compared President Obama to Hitler. Now Williams has written a new song, “Fox And Friends.” What? That’s shocking, I can’t believe it. Hank Williams Jr. wrote a new song?

A pregnant woman, Amber Miller, ran the Chicago Marathon and then gave birth to a healthy baby girl seven hours later. They decided to name the baby June, actually her full name is June “What the hell was I thinking?” Miller.

Since you asked:
You can tell a lot about a person by who is their favorite Beatle and why. Granted, your favorite Beatle is subjective, sometimes these things pick you, and I could see why you'd like any one of them. They are all amazing.

But in general, if your favorite is Ringo? You're just being a contrarian. Paul? You like the too-obvious and pretty-boys. John? You consider yourself an artist/intellectual, whether you are one or not.

Me? George Harrison, and I can explain why.

By the time music started becoming really important to me, the Beatles had quit touring a long time ago. They belonged more to my friend’s older siblings then me. And, although I loved their early stuff “Help” “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and their later “We Can Work It Out,” their hits seem to be getting weirder and weirder. “Sgt. Pepper.” “Yellow Submarine” “I am the Walrus.” “Strawberry Fields.” "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" “Oblie Frickin’ De”?

Now most of my favorite songs were by Paul, “Hey Jude,” “Let it Be” “Yesterday.” But George’s “Something” and “Here Comes the Sun” and “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” really spoke to me. Paul was too much of a pretty boy, and his later bubble gum crap with “Wings” was borderline embarrassing. No, it was flat out embarrassing.

And John had apparently done lost his mind with that crazy bitch, Yoko.

And then George knocked the rest of the ex-Beatles out of the water with his solo album “All Things Must Pass.” And then he followed it up with the amazingly-ahead-of-it’s-time “Concert for Bangladesh.”

George’s songs “Beware of Darkness” “Isn’t it a Pity” "My Sweet Lord" "Wah Wah" and “Give Me Love” blew away anything besides “Imagine” done by the solo Beatles.

Yes, George hit us way too hard with the never-was-going-to-be-liked sitar of Ravi Shankar and all that Hari Krishna chanting crap. But that was still better than the sappy pop Paul was churning out and the “Help, I am trapped in a two-person nut-job cult” of John and Yoko.

And Ringo, although hilarious and adorable, wasn’t in their category as a solo artist. His two hits, “It Don’t Come Easy” and "Photograph" were written by George.

Do you want to know how far we've fallen?

Daniel Boone was once asked if he had ever been lost. He said;

"No, I've never been lost, but I was a might confused for a few weeks."

In Mass, a family lost in a corn maze calls 911. They were 25 yards from the street.