Wednesday, March 19, 2008

We gonna get our serious on fornever and never, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A CNN poll reveals John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are in a three way tie; this also marks the first time anyone has used the words Hillary Clinton and three-way together.

Yikes, 2
Star Jones and Al Reynolds are getting divorced. You know the difference between Al and Star’s marriage versus their divorce? Star Jones is going to get screwed in the divorce.

Yikes, 3
It was a little awkward, when he heard that CNN had John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in a three way tie, ex-New Jersey Gov James McGreevey asked to join in.

Look at the bright side
In divorce court, former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey claims he and his wife, Dina, engaged in a three-way with his aide, Teddy Pederson. Well, at least it’s nice to see a Governor who didn’t outsource his sex partners.

In divorce court, former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey claims he and his wife, Dina, engaged in a three-way with his male aide. What is with Governors? We’ve had a New York Governor who was screwing with hookers, an ex-New Jersey Governor who is screwing with a three way and a California Gov. who is screwing with our syntax.

That good, huh?
Fox News reports that a pimp for Eliot Spitzer call-girl, Ashley Dupree, sent her and another girl dressed as cheerleaders for Charlie Sheen. The hookers reported Sheen was a great lover. How great a lover? They rated Charlie “Two and a Half Men.”

But that’s me
Information is coming out that former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer went by the name George Fox when he hired a hooker. George Fox? For $4300, I would want them to call me Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

After the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal, David Paterson was sworn in as Gov. of New York. The oath of office was amended to include; “Do you solemnly swear to always adhere to a strict Bros before Hoes policy, so help you god?”

Hate to hear that
After receiving $50 million divorce settlement from fan Paul McCartney, the one-legged “Dancing with the Stars” Heather Mills was so furious, she was hopping mad.

Heather Mills received a $50 million divorce settlement. That worked out to $34,000 for each day of marriage. Or as ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer calls $34,000 a day: two three ways.

Not good
The New York Knicks are 19-48. How hated are the Knicks in New York? Eliot Spitzer’s Emperor Club lists the Knicks coach, Isaiah Thomas, as Client 852.

Make no mistake
The name of the escort serviced used by ex-New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was the Emperor’s Club. Now the Emperor’s Club may sound like a Chinese restaurant, but believe me, when you order #69 you don’t get beef with broccoli.

It’s about time they did something
The Supreme Court will decide if it is indecent for celebrities to say the “F-Word” on live TV. That’s right, the Supreme Court may rule celebrities can no longer say Federline on TV.