Duke near about got their tookus Bear Stearned by Belmont last nicht, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

They’ve been nagging us for a reason

In Kansas, the boyfriend of a woman who was stuck on a toilet for two years has been charged with abuse. Guys, see what can happen when you don’t put the toilet seat back down?

Old guy

I don’t want to say that John McCain is getting up there, but, when he gives a speech, McCain is the only candidate who activates his teleprompter with the clapper.

I don’t want to say that John McCain is getting up there, but the only thing more enlarged than his prostate are the letters on his speech teleprompter.

One way to look at it

A woman is suing American Airlines because she awoke to find the guy sitting next to her masturbating. On the bright side, apparently the seats had lots of elbow room.

Yikes

The New York Knicks and the New Jersey Nets are last and second to last in their division, respectively; in fact, the Knicks and the Nets are the only things in New York and New Jersey that suck without a Governor being involved.

Not good

President Bush’s approval rating hit an all-time low 31 %. In other words, only 31% approve of the job Bush is doing. Which is pretty bad when you consider 35% think Fat Free and Non-Fat milk are two different things.

Which is pretty bad when you consider 35% think an innuendo is an Italian enema.

President Bush’s approval rating hit an all-time low 31 %. In other words, only 31% approve of the job Bush is doing. Which is pretty bad when you consider 35% think Donald Trump’s hair is real.

Cartoon Buffoon

Osama bin Laden threatened the European Union with grave punishment over cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad. In addition, Osama said he is feels that after 18 years, Dilbert should get promoted from his cubicle to an office.


Since you asked:

Let’s all take a little journey to a magical place where just about anything is possible. It is a special, fun place I like to call Lex Land.

Today in Lex Land you are now the director of a big time movie. It doesn’t matter what the movie is, whether it’s an action movie or a boring and depressing self-indulgent art house Indie “film” or an off-the-wall-feel-good-fish-out-of-water-boy-meets-girl-slap-stick-hyphen-ladened-piece-of-crap with Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson and or Queen Latifah.

No, the question is, as you are the director, and it is your god-given right to Alfred Hitchcock yourself with a brief cameo, how would you cameo yourself in?

Let’s play a rousing game of “How Lex Would Cameo Himself In a Movie?”

ESTABLISHING SHOT: FADE IN: AN OLD-SCHOOL MID-TOWN NEW YORK DELI

Cut To: In the store, a guy behind the counter with the nametag Vinny is approached by Lex.

Lex:
Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?

Vinny:
Practice, practice, practice, yah, frickin’ hump.”



And that is how we play “How Lex Would Cameo Himself In a Movie.”
.
(Polite applause)