This just in:

Ex- stripper Anna Benson, is furious at the New York Mets, she claims they are looking to trade her pitcher husband, Kris, because she tried – but failed - to pose in “Playboy.” Anna Benson refers to herself as a celebrity. Now, I have nothing against strippers, lord knows I helped put a few through medical school – what? They told me they were going to medical school. They didn’t lie, did they? – but being an ex-stripper does not qualify one as a celebrity. Being a rich brain-dead, talent-less uber-skank ala Paris Hilton? Now that qualifies you as a celebrity. Anna, sweetheart, love yah babe, but go make a grainy sex video and then get back to us, koo koo.