Oh, we on it on’r than you think, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
I see dead people
Jennifer Love Hewitt stars in a show called “The Ghost Whisperer” where she plays someone who can talk to people who are not alive. In the next show she talks to the Los Angeles Dodgers.
For starters
Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he has made mistakes in the past. Like, for example, how he pronounces California.
Saw this one coming, so to speak
A Chinese rubber company is making condoms called Clinton and Lewinski. The Clinton condoms are top quality, but, unfortunately, the Lewinski condom really sucks.
Not good
Dick Cheney is scheduled to undergo precautionary arterial knee surgery. It is getting bad: even Cheney’s knees are having heart attacks.
Makes sense
Dick Cheney is scheduled to undergo precautionary arterial knee surgery. They won’t make an incision on his knee, they’ll just unzip his chest zipper and go in from there.
That explains it
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. She claims it was an accident, she was just underneath them to help them do push ups.
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. She should fight this, she has strong evidence she didn’t have sex with those boys, namely the fact that she’s a female gym teacher.
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. You know teacher-sex-with-high-school-students is out of control when a female gym teacher has sex with a male. What’s next? A male art teacher doing it with a female student? That’s the seventh sign of the apocalypse.
“Uh, no sir, that’s not, oh forget it”
John Gotti Jr. skated on all racketeering charges. Again, not sure President Bush understands. When told John Gotti Jr. walked on racketeering charges, Bush said; “We will continue to try and arrest all racketeers whether they make illegal rackets for tennis, badminton or squash.”
Wouldn’t work
Now that Kirstie Alley has lost 50 pounds, she says Showtime will probably not renew her show because she is no longer a "Fat Actress." They were going to call it “Fat Actress Made Exceptional” but the initials would spell FEMA and then the show would have been delayed.
.
Ouch
The Los Angeles Times reports that Los Angeles is considering building underground freeways to help alleviate traffic. You thought the gunshots on the freeways were loud now? Wait until they echo underground.
I see dead people
Jennifer Love Hewitt stars in a show called “The Ghost Whisperer” where she plays someone who can talk to people who are not alive. In the next show she talks to the Los Angeles Dodgers.
For starters
Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he has made mistakes in the past. Like, for example, how he pronounces California.
Saw this one coming, so to speak
A Chinese rubber company is making condoms called Clinton and Lewinski. The Clinton condoms are top quality, but, unfortunately, the Lewinski condom really sucks.
Not good
Dick Cheney is scheduled to undergo precautionary arterial knee surgery. It is getting bad: even Cheney’s knees are having heart attacks.
Makes sense
Dick Cheney is scheduled to undergo precautionary arterial knee surgery. They won’t make an incision on his knee, they’ll just unzip his chest zipper and go in from there.
That explains it
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. She claims it was an accident, she was just underneath them to help them do push ups.
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. She should fight this, she has strong evidence she didn’t have sex with those boys, namely the fact that she’s a female gym teacher.
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. You know teacher-sex-with-high-school-students is out of control when a female gym teacher has sex with a male. What’s next? A male art teacher doing it with a female student? That’s the seventh sign of the apocalypse.
“Uh, no sir, that’s not, oh forget it”
John Gotti Jr. skated on all racketeering charges. Again, not sure President Bush understands. When told John Gotti Jr. walked on racketeering charges, Bush said; “We will continue to try and arrest all racketeers whether they make illegal rackets for tennis, badminton or squash.”
Wouldn’t work
Now that Kirstie Alley has lost 50 pounds, she says Showtime will probably not renew her show because she is no longer a "Fat Actress." They were going to call it “Fat Actress Made Exceptional” but the initials would spell FEMA and then the show would have been delayed.
.
Ouch
The Los Angeles Times reports that Los Angeles is considering building underground freeways to help alleviate traffic. You thought the gunshots on the freeways were loud now? Wait until they echo underground.
posted by Alex at
4:38 PM
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