You up and done flipped me now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Huh?
The four month marriage of country singer Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger is over. Zellwegger listed the marriage breakup cause as fraud. Upon hearing that, Liza Minelli said; “You can do that?”
Must Flee TV
“Everybody Loves Raymond” was the big winner at the Emmys last night. Do you know how heavy an Emmy statue is? Neither does NBC.
We kid the womens of New York
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. In fact, the woman in New York have so much sex they may have to change the city’s nickname from the Big Apple to the Missing Cherry.
Not fair
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. But that survey wasn’t really fair to Los Angeles, it was taken when Paris Hilton was in Manhattan.
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. And that’s even including the town of Slutsberg, Ohio.
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. Guys in Los Angeles are going to run with this: “Come on baby, we don’t want to be number two, do we?”
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. You know which city has the least sex? Trenton, New Jersey. Because if you’re in Trenton, you’re already screwed.
How do you spell number two?
A photographer at the U.N. got a shot of a note President Bush wrote to Sec. of State, Condi Rice requesting a bathroom break. The most embarrassing part? Bush spelled potty with an i.
About time
North Korea has agreed to give up their nuclear weapons. And more good news, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il has decided to lose that goofy toupee.
What was their first clue?
A nephew of Saddam Hussein, Ayman Sabawi, was sentenced to life in prison for funding Iraq’s violent insurgency and for bomb-making; Gosh, I wonder why they suspected him? It couldn’t have been, because, oh I don’t know, he was Saddam Hussein’s nephew?
Getting serious
Parts of southern Florida have been evacuated due to tropical storm Rita. If Rita starts getting any stronger, President Bush and FEMA may have to start working on their excuses right now.
Not looking good
Rumors are swirling about the four month marriage break up of country singer Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger. Now, I don’t want to spread the rumor that Kenny is gay, but lately Kenny has been hanging around Liza Minelli.
The four month marriage of country singer Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger. Zellwegger listed the marriage breakup cause as fraud. Well, that should put an end to all the Chesney is gay rumors.
Since you asked:
Can we list as an official royal pain-in-the-ass every actor who talks about “the work” and their “craft”? Listen up, actors, for the last time: You get obscenely over-paid to play pretend, something that every four-year-old does naturally. Good for you. Stop trying to justify your blind-ass good luck to us. You won the damn job lottery. If we could be movie stars, we all would. Shut up and enjoy it and stop trying to convince us how hard you work or how smart you are.
Truly, I do not care how an actor went about playing a part anymore than I care how the wine got into the bottle. As long as the end result is good, that’s all I care about.
And that’s how we feel about actors voicing their opinion on something they might actually know about, acting. Can you even imagine how much we don’t want to hear their political beliefs?
Let’s play a quick game of;
“Used to be awesome, but now it sucks”
MTV
Air Travel
McDonalds
NFL Films
Ford Mustangs
The expression “Hello?”
FM Stations
Burt Reynolds
Touchdown Celebrations
Basketball Slam Dunks
Towering Home Runs
The expression ;“You go girl”
Crackerjack prizes
“Monday Night Football” opening
USA Olympic Team Warm up suits
Department Stores
Wine corks
Sunday Comics, specifically, “Doonesbury.” (Let’s see, when was the last time somebody saved the world through the message in their cartoon? Oh yeah, never. Lighten up, Gary)
Bill Cosby
Boxing
Tequila Shots
Beer Bongs
New York City cabdrivers
Truck drivers
Chat Rooms
Movies in movie theaters
TV Channels
Pro Tennis
The NBA, specifically the Los Angeles Lakers
VCR’s
Video stores
Music stores
The Kennedys (Living proof children should not get trust funds)
Book stores
Coke commercials
Network News
Phone Operators (All they have to do is push a button and half the time they can’t do that)
Politician’s speeches
Michael Jackson (This feature could be named after him)
Heavy Metal bands
Call Waiting
My Ability to Run Fast and Jump High
Phone manners
Speaker Phones
Faxes
Driving etiquette
The New York Times
Hollywood Squares
And finally, bananas. Not sure if it’s my taste buds that have changed or the way they now freeze and store bananas, but nothing used to be better than a good banana. Now they are, well, blah.
Any suggestions are welcomed.
lexkase@san.rr.com
Huh?
The four month marriage of country singer Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger is over. Zellwegger listed the marriage breakup cause as fraud. Upon hearing that, Liza Minelli said; “You can do that?”
Must Flee TV
“Everybody Loves Raymond” was the big winner at the Emmys last night. Do you know how heavy an Emmy statue is? Neither does NBC.
We kid the womens of New York
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. In fact, the woman in New York have so much sex they may have to change the city’s nickname from the Big Apple to the Missing Cherry.
Not fair
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. But that survey wasn’t really fair to Los Angeles, it was taken when Paris Hilton was in Manhattan.
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. And that’s even including the town of Slutsberg, Ohio.
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. Guys in Los Angeles are going to run with this: “Come on baby, we don’t want to be number two, do we?”
The New York Post claims women in New York have more sex than women in any other city. You know which city has the least sex? Trenton, New Jersey. Because if you’re in Trenton, you’re already screwed.
How do you spell number two?
A photographer at the U.N. got a shot of a note President Bush wrote to Sec. of State, Condi Rice requesting a bathroom break. The most embarrassing part? Bush spelled potty with an i.
About time
North Korea has agreed to give up their nuclear weapons. And more good news, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il has decided to lose that goofy toupee.
What was their first clue?
A nephew of Saddam Hussein, Ayman Sabawi, was sentenced to life in prison for funding Iraq’s violent insurgency and for bomb-making; Gosh, I wonder why they suspected him? It couldn’t have been, because, oh I don’t know, he was Saddam Hussein’s nephew?
Getting serious
Parts of southern Florida have been evacuated due to tropical storm Rita. If Rita starts getting any stronger, President Bush and FEMA may have to start working on their excuses right now.
Not looking good
Rumors are swirling about the four month marriage break up of country singer Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger. Now, I don’t want to spread the rumor that Kenny is gay, but lately Kenny has been hanging around Liza Minelli.
The four month marriage of country singer Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger. Zellwegger listed the marriage breakup cause as fraud. Well, that should put an end to all the Chesney is gay rumors.
Since you asked:
Can we list as an official royal pain-in-the-ass every actor who talks about “the work” and their “craft”? Listen up, actors, for the last time: You get obscenely over-paid to play pretend, something that every four-year-old does naturally. Good for you. Stop trying to justify your blind-ass good luck to us. You won the damn job lottery. If we could be movie stars, we all would. Shut up and enjoy it and stop trying to convince us how hard you work or how smart you are.
Truly, I do not care how an actor went about playing a part anymore than I care how the wine got into the bottle. As long as the end result is good, that’s all I care about.
And that’s how we feel about actors voicing their opinion on something they might actually know about, acting. Can you even imagine how much we don’t want to hear their political beliefs?
Let’s play a quick game of;
“Used to be awesome, but now it sucks”
MTV
Air Travel
McDonalds
NFL Films
Ford Mustangs
The expression “Hello?”
FM Stations
Burt Reynolds
Touchdown Celebrations
Basketball Slam Dunks
Towering Home Runs
The expression ;“You go girl”
Crackerjack prizes
“Monday Night Football” opening
USA Olympic Team Warm up suits
Department Stores
Wine corks
Sunday Comics, specifically, “Doonesbury.” (Let’s see, when was the last time somebody saved the world through the message in their cartoon? Oh yeah, never. Lighten up, Gary)
Bill Cosby
Boxing
Tequila Shots
Beer Bongs
New York City cabdrivers
Truck drivers
Chat Rooms
Movies in movie theaters
TV Channels
Pro Tennis
The NBA, specifically the Los Angeles Lakers
VCR’s
Video stores
Music stores
The Kennedys (Living proof children should not get trust funds)
Book stores
Coke commercials
Network News
Phone Operators (All they have to do is push a button and half the time they can’t do that)
Politician’s speeches
Michael Jackson (This feature could be named after him)
Heavy Metal bands
Call Waiting
My Ability to Run Fast and Jump High
Phone manners
Speaker Phones
Faxes
Driving etiquette
The New York Times
Hollywood Squares
And finally, bananas. Not sure if it’s my taste buds that have changed or the way they now freeze and store bananas, but nothing used to be better than a good banana. Now they are, well, blah.
Any suggestions are welcomed.
lexkase@san.rr.com
posted by Alex at
11:06 AM
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