It’s a mojo thang, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Ain’t gonna get the babes
Hugh Jackman won an Emmy for hosting the Tony Awards. Winning an Emmy for Hosting the Tony Awards is the highest honor you can possibly receive that will never get you anywhere with any woman.
A visual
Dick Cheney is scheduled to undergo precautionary arterial leg surgery. Speaking of Cheney, is it just me or is Cheney more and more like the crabby apple tree from the “Wizard of Oz?”
Hallelujah
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. The only thing more amazing than that a female gym teacher had sex with males? The three guys were from the drama club. It was practically a sexual miracle.
Not a good sign
Courtney Love is being sued for assault, she was sentenced to another rehab. You can tell things are not going great for Courtney Love: she was featured in the Emmy’s dead celebrity montage.
Interesting
Martha Stewart revealed she referred to her prison time as being at Yale. Whereas President Bush thinks of his time at Yale as being in prison.
Riding that train
Kate Moss was dropped from a Swedish clothing ad because of photographs showing her snorting cocaine. Or as supermodels call cocaine: Brunch.
Mean, so mean
Jennifer Anniston appeared on “Oprah” to talk about her failed marriage with Brad Pitt. Jennifer said she is in a good place right now. Of course, Brad is in a better place otherwise known as Angelina Jolie’s bedroom.
Radical procedure
Doctors in Cleveland are going to attempt the very first face transplant. In addition, they are trying to extract FEMA head Mike Brown’s face from inside of his rectum.
He’s outta control
Martha Stewart is starring in two television shows. As a result, Regis Philbin now wants to go to prison for lying about insider trading.
Ask not what you can do
President Bush’s nephew, Florida Gov Jeb Bush’s son was arrested for public intoxication. In addition, the Bush’s also face the lesser charge of impersonating the Kennedy family.
‘Roid rage
Tropical storm Rita has now strengthened into a hurricane. In fact, Rita has become so strong so fast they are going to test it for steroids.
Disaster relief
The Chicago White Sox’s 15 game August lead has now dwindled down to a 2 ½ game lead. If the White Sox lose any more they will have to call in former Presidents Bush and Clinton.
The Chicago White Sox’s 15 game August lead has now dwindled down to a 2 ½ game lead. If the White Sox lose any more of their lead they will automatically turn into the Cubs.
"Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it"
On MSNBC it was revealed that if you Google the word failure, the first thing that pops up is President Bush’s biography. When asked if he knew about Google, President Bush said; “I get all of those Disney characters mixed up, is Google the dog that can or can’t talk?”
Or
On MSNBC is was revealed that if you Google the word failure, the first thing that pops up is President Bush’s biography. When asked if he knew about Google, President Bush said; “I don’t know about them constellations, astronomology was never my thing.”
Ain’t gonna get the babes
Hugh Jackman won an Emmy for hosting the Tony Awards. Winning an Emmy for Hosting the Tony Awards is the highest honor you can possibly receive that will never get you anywhere with any woman.
A visual
Dick Cheney is scheduled to undergo precautionary arterial leg surgery. Speaking of Cheney, is it just me or is Cheney more and more like the crabby apple tree from the “Wizard of Oz?”
Hallelujah
A female gym teacher in New Jersey was arrested for having sex with three male students. The only thing more amazing than that a female gym teacher had sex with males? The three guys were from the drama club. It was practically a sexual miracle.
Not a good sign
Courtney Love is being sued for assault, she was sentenced to another rehab. You can tell things are not going great for Courtney Love: she was featured in the Emmy’s dead celebrity montage.
Interesting
Martha Stewart revealed she referred to her prison time as being at Yale. Whereas President Bush thinks of his time at Yale as being in prison.
Riding that train
Kate Moss was dropped from a Swedish clothing ad because of photographs showing her snorting cocaine. Or as supermodels call cocaine: Brunch.
Mean, so mean
Jennifer Anniston appeared on “Oprah” to talk about her failed marriage with Brad Pitt. Jennifer said she is in a good place right now. Of course, Brad is in a better place otherwise known as Angelina Jolie’s bedroom.
Radical procedure
Doctors in Cleveland are going to attempt the very first face transplant. In addition, they are trying to extract FEMA head Mike Brown’s face from inside of his rectum.
He’s outta control
Martha Stewart is starring in two television shows. As a result, Regis Philbin now wants to go to prison for lying about insider trading.
Ask not what you can do
President Bush’s nephew, Florida Gov Jeb Bush’s son was arrested for public intoxication. In addition, the Bush’s also face the lesser charge of impersonating the Kennedy family.
‘Roid rage
Tropical storm Rita has now strengthened into a hurricane. In fact, Rita has become so strong so fast they are going to test it for steroids.
Disaster relief
The Chicago White Sox’s 15 game August lead has now dwindled down to a 2 ½ game lead. If the White Sox lose any more they will have to call in former Presidents Bush and Clinton.
The Chicago White Sox’s 15 game August lead has now dwindled down to a 2 ½ game lead. If the White Sox lose any more of their lead they will automatically turn into the Cubs.
"Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it"
On MSNBC it was revealed that if you Google the word failure, the first thing that pops up is President Bush’s biography. When asked if he knew about Google, President Bush said; “I get all of those Disney characters mixed up, is Google the dog that can or can’t talk?”
Or
On MSNBC is was revealed that if you Google the word failure, the first thing that pops up is President Bush’s biography. When asked if he knew about Google, President Bush said; “I don’t know about them constellations, astronomology was never my thing.”
posted by Alex at
4:52 PM
<< Home