"I've told you I hate little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of Cornflakes. F.U." It took me four hours to figure out F.U. meant Felix Unger," Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers"
Had a flat tire on the way to work today. That damn Tom
Brady has to be stopped.
A U.C. San Diego professor is asking students to take a
final exam in the nude. The weird part is it is an accounting class.
New Jersey Gov., Chris Christie, spent over $82,000 for
snacks at NFL games. Even the New England Patriots feel that number has to be
inflated.
New England Patriot’s Tom Brady has been suspended by the
NFL for four games for Deflategate. Four weeks of vacation in a mansion with a
super model. The Patriots will try and appeal. “Not so fast,” said Brady.
If any athletes should be suspended for having deflated
balls it is Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.
A mother is suing Disneyland after she claims Pluto hugged
her child too hard. Pluto did not comment. Not that he refused to comment, it
is just Pluto is the only cartoon dog in the world who cannot talk.
A mother is suing Disneyland after she claims Pluto hugged
her child too hard. Rough times for Pluto, first he loses his status as a
planet now his only character witness in this lawsuit is someone named Goofy.
Kim Kardashian paid respects at the Armenian Genocide
Memorial. To give Kim credit, she is coming along. Last year she thought
Armenian was a fashion designer and Genocide was a sports drink.
Lindsay Vonn is now admitting she broke up with Tiger Woods
because he cheated on her. Well who could have seen that coming?
Since you asked:
As the great sports writer, Dan Jenkins, said describing
post-fire hydrant Tiger Woods, Chris Christie, in terms of the 2016
presidential election, is graveyard dead.
For a long time, Chris Christie wanted us to believe he was
a more-corpulent political version of Tony Soprano. Tough, no-nonsense New
Jersey guido who was a born leader and got things done without taking any crap. Capice?
Turns out that is wrong. Christie is the angry little fat
kid who got bullied. So now he has power so he is going to bully people back,
ala Bridgegate.
Now we have Snackgate.
In “Garden of Stones” (underrated
movie) James Earl Jones’s character, Sgt. Maj. “Goody” Nelson says you either
eat the bear or the bear eats you.
“Yum, yum, yum, says the big hungry bear.”
The bear is eating Chris Christie, and that is going to be
one stuffed bear.