Ahh, sweet, sweet nectar of the Barbados gods.

Here comes the sun, do, do, do, do, here comes the sun and I say it’s alright, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


After the Minnesota Vikings playoff win against the Dallas Cowboys, Brett Favre led his team in singing the old “American Idol” guy’s “Pants on the ground” song. In fact, Favre came up with his own older guy version of “Pants on the Ground.” It’s called: “Pants Up To The Chest.”

There is a new line of Scotts grass seeds that allows buyers to grow the kind of grass that is in their favorite Major League field. Warning to Chicago Cubs fans, the Wrigley Field grass dies right before October.

The good news is the Minnesota Vikings trounced the Dallas Cowboys in the playoffs, the bad news? Brett Favre wandered away from practice again. The good news? They found him at the bus station.

Tiger Woods claims he is a sex addict and people believe him. But when the manager at the Radio Shack in Tustin claimed he was a sex addict, everyone laughed in his face.


It’s so cold, Jay Leno went to Conan O’Brien’s studio just to feel his white-hot hatred.

Apparently Conan O’Brien’s folks are furious with Leno as well. Today, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog keyed Leno’s car. And you don’t want to know what the masturbating bear did to the car’s upholstery. (Assist from Janice Hough)


Since you asked:

Good week. And I like the rain. We lost our outdoor umbrella, but that’s about it. Dogs are all clean and soft. No fire threat, helps the water shortage. I’m down with the rain.


Dear "American Idol" contestant:

What I am about to suggest may sound rash or foolish, but hear me out.

Walk up to Simon Cowel and wind up and open-hand bitch-slap that smug British twit off his chair.

Yes, security will tackle you and you may spend a tad of jail time. But it will make you a lot of money in the long run. The video will go viral. T-shirt revenues from "I Bitch-Slapped Simon" will go through the roof, hell, you'll probably get an NBC 10:00 PM spot out of the deal.

And lord knows Simon is in desperate need of an all out bitch-slap.