Thursday, September 25, 2008

Life is just one freakin' thang after another, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

We have leeeeeft off
Cuba says Russia is going to help them develop a space program. Hmm. Not to be insulting, but do we need a country building a space program that can’t make rafts that can make it 90 miles?

Apparently Cuba is an acronym for Can’t Understand Basic Aeronautics.

Well, good for him
John McCain has 13 vehicles. And, when he drives, he can see over the dashboard of five of them.

Yikes
British scientists are seeking permission to combine human cells with rabbit cells; women, you thought guys were too quick to the draw before?

Phrasing
Economists continue to call what’s happening on Wall Street “a correction.” That’s like calling the Bush presidency interesting.

Economists continue to call what’s happening on Wall Street “a correction.” That’s like a doctor calling a colonoscopy a sneak peak through the cheeks.

Not for that, gramps
An aide to John McCain claims that John McCain had a hand in creating the BlackBerry; but when they gave McCain a BlackBerry he complained that it wouldn’t open his garage door.

Signs down
A Florida judge has ruled a town’s law against low-hanging pants is illegal; now they’ll have to take down their signs: “If we can see your crack, don’t come back.”

Not bad
Bill Clinton was on “The View” for one hour. Bill did extremely well, he set a new male record by actually getting in over ten words sideways.

Oh, please
Sarah Palin said she saw the Tina Fey skit on “Saturday Night Live” but with the sound off. Right, and the check is in the mail, the guy promises he’ll call the drunk girl he nailed and our stock market is experiencing a correction.