It is hard out here
You best check that thang before you wreck that thang, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Put it in perspective
Pope Benedict said that hell is a place where sinners really do burn in everlasting life. Hell is bad. Not as bad as having to hear Sanjaya sing on “American Idol”, but bad.
H E double hockey sticks
Pope Benedict announced that he wants to remind people that hell exists; and to quantify just how bad hell is, the Pope said hell is somewhere between being Martha Stewart’s personal assistant and listening to Paris Hilton sing.
What a blow
The Midwest was hit with horrible Spring storms. To give you an idea how bad it was, it actually blew a liberal democrat into Oklahoma. In fact, it was the most a democrat was blown since, well, Monica.
Eww
According to a dermatology magazine, one woman has a real functioning nipple on her toe. Big deal? My great Aunt Bertha had both her boobs on her toes.
Not a total loss
Chris Sligh was voted off “American Idol” The night wasn’t a total bust. He did finish third in the Rosie O’Donnell look-alike contest.
Not good
The Chicago Cubs sent their one-time pitching ace, Mark Prior, down to the minor leagues. Being sent down by the Cubs has to be tough. Now Prior knows how the singers who were voted out of “American Idol” before Sanjaya felt.
I knew it looked familiar
Quentin Tarantino’s movie “Grindhouse” features a pretty one-legged girl who guns down men with her machine gun leg prosthetic. He got the idea from watching Heather Mills trying to wipe out Paul McCartney in their divorce.
Well it is
Paris Hilton could face 90 days in jail for violating her drunk driving probation. When asked to comment about Paris coming to their jail, LA. County women prisoners said; “That’s hot.”
Good choice
Researchers at the University of Nevada claim they have created a sheep that is 15% human. They are calling it Paris Hilton.
Put it in perspective
Pope Benedict said that hell is a place where sinners really do burn in everlasting life. Hell is bad. Not as bad as having to hear Sanjaya sing on “American Idol”, but bad.
H E double hockey sticks
Pope Benedict announced that he wants to remind people that hell exists; and to quantify just how bad hell is, the Pope said hell is somewhere between being Martha Stewart’s personal assistant and listening to Paris Hilton sing.
What a blow
The Midwest was hit with horrible Spring storms. To give you an idea how bad it was, it actually blew a liberal democrat into Oklahoma. In fact, it was the most a democrat was blown since, well, Monica.
Eww
According to a dermatology magazine, one woman has a real functioning nipple on her toe. Big deal? My great Aunt Bertha had both her boobs on her toes.
Not a total loss
Chris Sligh was voted off “American Idol” The night wasn’t a total bust. He did finish third in the Rosie O’Donnell look-alike contest.
Not good
The Chicago Cubs sent their one-time pitching ace, Mark Prior, down to the minor leagues. Being sent down by the Cubs has to be tough. Now Prior knows how the singers who were voted out of “American Idol” before Sanjaya felt.
I knew it looked familiar
Quentin Tarantino’s movie “Grindhouse” features a pretty one-legged girl who guns down men with her machine gun leg prosthetic. He got the idea from watching Heather Mills trying to wipe out Paul McCartney in their divorce.
Well it is
Paris Hilton could face 90 days in jail for violating her drunk driving probation. When asked to comment about Paris coming to their jail, LA. County women prisoners said; “That’s hot.”
Good choice
Researchers at the University of Nevada claim they have created a sheep that is 15% human. They are calling it Paris Hilton.
posted by Alex at
10:00 AM
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