Tuesday, March 27, 2007

It is hard out here

It is game time, come on now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

That doesn’t seem fair
A passenger on a Southwest airlines flight from Boise to Salt Lake had to urinate in an air sickness bag because the bathrooms were closed. Upon which Southwest airlines immediately fined him $500 for having container of liquid on board.  

Weak
A Wisconsin man received probation after he was convicted of having sex with a dead deer. The Judge scolded him not to ever try and buck the system again.

Again, weak
A belly dancer in Germany received a big settlement when a plastic surgeon performed lipo suction on her and accidentally removed one of her buttocks. It’s sad, she can no longer laugh. At least I think that’s what they meant when they said she can’t crack up anymore.

Sounds familiar
A publisher has announced that it is turning several tapes of Bill Clinton’s conversation into a new book. I think it’s called “Tuesdays With Monica.”

Fierce
The producer of “Girls Gone Wild” videos was seen carousing in a gay bar; this explains his latest video, “Girls Gone Wild, Guys Gone Fabulous.”

Police announced that the recently deceased Pakistani cricket coach, Bob Woolmer, was strangled. Authorities suspect anyone who had to endure watching the entire cricket match.

Can’t get rid of this guy
On “American Idol” no matter how horrible he does, Sanjaya Malakar, still gets voted back; he is the George W. Bush of “American Idol.”

That will show him
An L.A. Attorney has just filed charges against a T.S.A. employee at Los Angeles International Airport, alleging that he took a watch out of Paris Hilton's luggage. The thief already learned his lesson, he caught a Sexually Transmitted Disease from Paris’s watch.