It is hard out here
We got the point up on this here joint, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers.
Badabing
Spring time is here and with it comes the allergy season. Be careful, I had a friend whose doctor was supposed to prescribe the allergy drug Allegra, but he gave him Viagra by mistake. It brought new meaning to the term a hard sneeze.
That didn’t go the way they planned
Officials at a zoo in Thailand have been showing panda porn to a panda named Chuang Chuang in an effort to get him to mate. So far all it has done has turned the Panda into a Trekkie.
I really think so
Officials at a zoo in Thailand have been showing panda porn to a panda named Chuang Chuang in an effort to get him to mate but to no luck. In fact all the porn has done has made the Panda go from Chinese to turning Japanese.
How cold was it?
It was cold this morning. I was shaking like the guy who handed the Ferrari keys to Eddie Griffin.
Comedian Eddie Griffin smashed a $1.2 million dollar Ferrari at a promotional charity race. There goes Eddie’s share of “Undercover Brother.”
Eddie is one of the men at the square table in the Miller Lite Man Law commercials. The next Man Law? Don’t crash a damn $1.2 million dollar Ferrari.
Idle Idol
“American Idol” now has lots of questions. Will Haley dress sexy again? Will Chris keep his momentum? Will Simon finally admit Sinjaya has a picture of him having sex with a goat?
Real baseball teams too
There is a new pitch invented in Japan called the Gyro ball that is supposedly can’t be hit. And not just can’t be hit by the Kansas City Royals, but against real baseball teams.
We are not amused
Britain is getting angry demanding the release of the 15 sailors captured by the Iran navy. It doesn’t help Britain’s mood that their sailors were captured by a Navy using rented paddle boats.
Attention grabber
Germaine Jackson has converted to Islam and goes by the name Abdul Azeez. The good news is that Germaine will no longer be completely ignored. The bad news is he will only get attention when he tries to board a plane.
Or something like that
In Hollywood FLA they have opened the first gay retirement center. I believe the name of it is the Clay Aik Inn.
That, uh, now that’s a big plane
That new huge plane the A380 Airbus is amazing. Some of them will have a bar, a gym, showers, a duty free shop, a hair salon and at least one or two Rite Aids.
Since you asked:
No lie, Terns and Gets, I gots me a new pet peeve. From now on there should be a law that there can be no car horn sounds on radio commercials.
The other day I was driving listening to the radio station I write for, 101.5 KGB FM, and I heard a long repeated horn honk. Nearly got in a road rage incident with the moron on the cell phone in back of me.
Since you askededed again:
Since you asked:
What is more fun than poking fun of people who take themselves way too seriously and therefore have no sense of humor? It isn’t mean because they don’t get the jokes in the first place.
That is why it is so fun to laugh at radical Muslims. And the French. And Paris Hilton.
Not to make light of the poor British sailors captured by – and why do we kid ourselves and try and identify all the different sects and areas in the Middle East? Let’s call them what they are -- terrorists. This time they happened to be Iranian.
But wouldn’t it be great if in these confession video clips - where the prisoners are clearly being threatened with their lives if they don’t say what their terrorist captors force them to say – if they threw in some Western messages that the terrorists wouldn’t get just to make the terrorists look like the idiots they are?
“Yes, my captors have treated me as well as that female astronaut treated Depends. And the food is so good I’ve been eating like Nicole Richey. Our Iranian captors say we intruded on their waters and they should know because they are every bit as smart as the rich and famous Jessica Simpson. Maybe even as smart and classy as the famous couple, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.”
And do not kid yourselves, our captors are also well groomed and clean. Why it wouldn’t surprise me if these men smell every bit as fresh and clean as the famous actors Russell Crowe, Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves. Why I bet they even smell as good as the French.
“At this time, my captors have asked me to ask our Prime Minister, Tony Blair, to apologize for violating the U.N. accord or else. Trust me, we should do what they say because these men are every bit as fierce and mighty as Clay Aiken and Sanjaya combined. And every bit as masculine and virile.”
“Well, that is it. All I care to add personally is that our captors have been every bit as fair and as just as the O.J. verdict. We have truly grown to like them nearly as much as Donald Trump likes Rosie O’Donnell for they are every bit as calm, easy going, thoughtful and sweet and kind as is Rosie. And almost as good looking to boot.”
Badabing
Spring time is here and with it comes the allergy season. Be careful, I had a friend whose doctor was supposed to prescribe the allergy drug Allegra, but he gave him Viagra by mistake. It brought new meaning to the term a hard sneeze.
That didn’t go the way they planned
Officials at a zoo in Thailand have been showing panda porn to a panda named Chuang Chuang in an effort to get him to mate. So far all it has done has turned the Panda into a Trekkie.
I really think so
Officials at a zoo in Thailand have been showing panda porn to a panda named Chuang Chuang in an effort to get him to mate but to no luck. In fact all the porn has done has made the Panda go from Chinese to turning Japanese.
How cold was it?
It was cold this morning. I was shaking like the guy who handed the Ferrari keys to Eddie Griffin.
Comedian Eddie Griffin smashed a $1.2 million dollar Ferrari at a promotional charity race. There goes Eddie’s share of “Undercover Brother.”
Eddie is one of the men at the square table in the Miller Lite Man Law commercials. The next Man Law? Don’t crash a damn $1.2 million dollar Ferrari.
Idle Idol
“American Idol” now has lots of questions. Will Haley dress sexy again? Will Chris keep his momentum? Will Simon finally admit Sinjaya has a picture of him having sex with a goat?
Real baseball teams too
There is a new pitch invented in Japan called the Gyro ball that is supposedly can’t be hit. And not just can’t be hit by the Kansas City Royals, but against real baseball teams.
We are not amused
Britain is getting angry demanding the release of the 15 sailors captured by the Iran navy. It doesn’t help Britain’s mood that their sailors were captured by a Navy using rented paddle boats.
Attention grabber
Germaine Jackson has converted to Islam and goes by the name Abdul Azeez. The good news is that Germaine will no longer be completely ignored. The bad news is he will only get attention when he tries to board a plane.
Or something like that
In Hollywood FLA they have opened the first gay retirement center. I believe the name of it is the Clay Aik Inn.
That, uh, now that’s a big plane
That new huge plane the A380 Airbus is amazing. Some of them will have a bar, a gym, showers, a duty free shop, a hair salon and at least one or two Rite Aids.
Since you asked:
No lie, Terns and Gets, I gots me a new pet peeve. From now on there should be a law that there can be no car horn sounds on radio commercials.
The other day I was driving listening to the radio station I write for, 101.5 KGB FM, and I heard a long repeated horn honk. Nearly got in a road rage incident with the moron on the cell phone in back of me.
Since you askededed again:
Since you asked:
What is more fun than poking fun of people who take themselves way too seriously and therefore have no sense of humor? It isn’t mean because they don’t get the jokes in the first place.
That is why it is so fun to laugh at radical Muslims. And the French. And Paris Hilton.
Not to make light of the poor British sailors captured by – and why do we kid ourselves and try and identify all the different sects and areas in the Middle East? Let’s call them what they are -- terrorists. This time they happened to be Iranian.
But wouldn’t it be great if in these confession video clips - where the prisoners are clearly being threatened with their lives if they don’t say what their terrorist captors force them to say – if they threw in some Western messages that the terrorists wouldn’t get just to make the terrorists look like the idiots they are?
“Yes, my captors have treated me as well as that female astronaut treated Depends. And the food is so good I’ve been eating like Nicole Richey. Our Iranian captors say we intruded on their waters and they should know because they are every bit as smart as the rich and famous Jessica Simpson. Maybe even as smart and classy as the famous couple, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.”
And do not kid yourselves, our captors are also well groomed and clean. Why it wouldn’t surprise me if these men smell every bit as fresh and clean as the famous actors Russell Crowe, Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves. Why I bet they even smell as good as the French.
“At this time, my captors have asked me to ask our Prime Minister, Tony Blair, to apologize for violating the U.N. accord or else. Trust me, we should do what they say because these men are every bit as fierce and mighty as Clay Aiken and Sanjaya combined. And every bit as masculine and virile.”
“Well, that is it. All I care to add personally is that our captors have been every bit as fair and as just as the O.J. verdict. We have truly grown to like them nearly as much as Donald Trump likes Rosie O’Donnell for they are every bit as calm, easy going, thoughtful and sweet and kind as is Rosie. And almost as good looking to boot.”
posted by Alex at
8:47 AM
<< Home